6 Word Memoir Soccer

Discussion
Jul 7, 2014

Hello my name is Jose. I currently attend New Directions Secondary School. My favorite subject is anything to do with Math and I enjoy English. My favorite colors are green,white,blue. I pretty much like to work and I help other people when they need help in their work well. I'm the boss in my job and I like to help people that need a job, I give them the job. My job is at a supermarket and I watch all the people and what they do. If they are not working or they at lunch and if they get their work done they will get paid.

The sports I like to play are football and soccer I'm in a football team and I'm trying to be a good football player. In school I'm starting a flag football game and the teacher tell me that I need to help my team. I was in a football team so I`m trying to be more better than my team so I`m going to tell them what they need help in. I want them to become better, like me when we play other schools. We will beat them because we know more than them so today I'm going to tell them what to do.

Well the reason I came to this school was that in my old school I use to fight lot but I always use to get my work done. I come to this school was that I want to do better and go to college and be a business man.
I had learn that when you have a job that you have to have to be a good man that get the work done. I know how hard it is, and to teacher is the same but is a little different because they want the student to learn and move on to be what they want to be when their older.

I have three sisters and one brother and me so in total we are five . Well me and my brother was not born he. We came to New York when we was 5 and I was happy that I meet my dad and that me and my brother are working hard to get paper. I know that I'm not doing good in school and I going to change that. I know I keep say I`m going to change is that it hard to do. why I can I stop being bad is that because they never told to do the right stuff when i was little. But I`m get bigger and that I know I'm not a little kid no more so I`m change by little.

Comments

Is writing less more difficult?

llusardi's picture
Submitted by llusardi on Tue, 2014-07-08 22:35.

Dear JHernandez,

Was it difficult to use only six words to write your memoir? How did you choose the words? My experience has been that it's more difficult to write something very short than it is to write a lot. Did you have the same experience?

Thanks for sharing your memoir! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

LLusardi

Response to your memoir/introduction

lbauso's picture
Submitted by lbauso on Wed, 2014-07-09 10:41.

Dear Jose:

I am touched by your writing that accompanies "6 word memoir," because you wrote very honestly about your life, including successes and challenges. I'm impressed with what you said about your job and how you described it, but then you were also honest about how you want to work harder in school. You also wrote about your history of fighting, but it's hard for me to imagine because you seem so soft-spoken and kind, not a typical fighter.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is the one you used for your 6 word memoir: "Trouble with not having a goal." I think this is powerful because often teenagers are very clear about their goals (even if they are not really doing much to reach them). Other kids might not have goals, and they don't care. But for you, it seems like you are really thinking about what your goal should be, which is a big decision.

Another sentence that I loved was: "I have three sisters and one brother and me so in total we are five." This stood out for me because if you included your parents, you would be seven, but you give the total as you and your siblings. I think of my siblings in the same way, as our own little entity. I also thing this line would work well in a poem.

Your bio/introduction reminds me of something that happened to me. When I was fifteen, I got my first job. I got lucky and got a really nice job in an italian restaurant as a hostess. They actually hired me by accident, thinking I was sixteen, but when they found out I was only fifteen, they knew me by then and decided to let me stay. I remember working several nights each week after school, and how challenging that schedule was. The first year (10th grade) my grades dropped but by the time I got to 11th and 12th, I'd figured out how to manage my time much better and graduated with honors.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because it's always cool to see into the minds of teenagers - especially when they're open and honest like you.

six words

cceballos's picture
Submitted by cceballos on Mon, 2014-11-03 19:58.

Dear :Jose Hernandez

I am amazed by, your post, “6 Word Memoir Soccer " because you are talking about how you are in a soccer team and also how you want to go to college and how you want to change because you know that you are not a little kid and that you want to change .

One part of your picture that you posted. That stands out for me because you described what you want to say in six words. I think this is amazing because you put everything you wanted to say in six words.

Another part that I liked is where you wrote “Well the reason I came to this school was that in my old school I use to fight lot but I always use to get my work done. I come to this school was that I want to do better and go to college and be a businessman.” This stood out for me because you talking about why you change your school and what you want to do with your life.

Your post reminds me of something that I made once. One time that I had to write six words that describe me and it took me time to figure those six word out.

Thanks for your art. I look forward to seeing what you make next, because I liked what you wrote this time and I hope to see what you write next.

Thanks for your art!

cindyrodriguez's picture
Submitted by cindyrodriguez on Thu, 2014-11-13 16:03.

Dear Jose,

I am amazed with your with your work "6 word memoir," because this tells alot about you and what do you enjoy the most this is amazing because we have something in common, we both like the same subject.

One part of your artwork that stands out for me is where you said that you like playing sports such as soccer and i also love soccer. I think this is because now i know that i'm not the only one that likes soccer.

Another part that I liked is where you said that you want to grow up and go to college and be a businessman. This stood out for me because this has been my dream since i was five years old and it still struggling to reach my goal and i won't give up.

Your photographs reminds me of something that I made once. One time i made my own 6 word memoir and i have a lot of reasons of why i picked these 6 word.

Thanks for your art. I look forward to seeing what you make next, because i enjoy reading what you enjoy the most.