After Dark

Discussion
Mar 27, 2015
by: sliem

The rickety chapel rattled in the wind. An orange glow reflected on the windows. Alden ran to the locked window, and stared down into the cold dark eyes of the night man. They were angry, this time. The man’s cloak was burning. And smoke began to fill the locked room. Alden choked, and fell to the ground. The world around him faded, first to black and white, and then to just black.

When he came to, he was lying on a bed. He tried to sit up, but strong, gentle hands restrained him. He focused, and saw the kindly face of Doctor Weatherby looking down at him. Sunlight glinted off of the metal frame of his glasses.

“Don’t try to move, please, young lad. You’re a bit concussed, and your arms are burned a bit,” said the doctor. Alden complied; he didn’t want any trouble.

Then the memories of what had happened flooded back into his mind - the burning chapel, the night man, and the graveyard…

“What happened to him?” he asked, letting himself fall back onto the mattress.

“Who?” asked Weatherby.

“The night man,” said Alden. He half realized that to the doctor, he might sound crazy, especially since he had a concussion.

A new voice, crisp and cold, spoke. “See, Doctor, I told you. He’s been having hallucinations of some sort - he keeps talking about this night man. Even in his sleep.”

“I’ve heard him speak. But perhaps they are not the ramblings of a child. Perhaps the legend is true.”
The other voice - Alden realized she must be the nurse - scoffed at this. “Preposterous! Honestly, Doctor. You are a man of science! You mustn’t believe such flights of fancy.”

Alden shifted his weight. “Not a legend,” he croaked.

“What’s that?” The nurse leaned down and stared at him.

“I said it’s not a legend.”

“What?” The nurse looked at him curiously. “I really think, Doctor, that you ought to give him some medicine. He’s not right in the head - ”

“Not all stories are made up,” interrupted Alden quietly.

This is a scene I took out of a story I wrote for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Please comment and tell me what you think of it!

Comments

This is awesome!!! I was

Turtle's picture
Submitted by Turtle on Mon, 2015-03-30 09:06.

This is awesome!!! I was considering doing NaNoWriMo but I didn't have the time... however I am really glad that you did and were able to create something so cool. Great job! You obviously have incredible writing talent. Keep using it!