Aneliese

Discussion
Oct 15, 2015

Aneliese, the misspelling of a misspelling, a “can you repeat that?”, a mistake as a first impression. Aneliese, the product of two names; the first of its kind, she lives up to no one but her own intuition. She digs her path with only shadows of future footsteps to guide her. Aneliese is humming to music but wanting to burst into song on the inside. Aneliese is a wandering spirit roaming the realms of oblivion; the detective trying to solve the mystery that is the world. She feels at the worst of times, trapped in a box of expectations, unsure, trembling on the precipice between destiny and living up to the crumbling hopes of others. Online, Aneliese means graceful, but in the real world, Aneliese is anything but- she is tumbling and turning, crashing into the holes of her flaws and leaping into the clouds of free will. She is climbing up hills made of mountains, mountains made of dreams, and free falling off of cliffs based upon her own miscalculations. Elegance, grace- there is no poise in her roller coaster, her balancing act. Aneliese is the storm; the misting on flowers, the downpour on shingles, the final raindrop on an outstretched tongue. Aneliese is blue, blue, blue, echoing between all shades. She is navy shrouded in darkness, brooding in silent power; she is the fragility of the pastel turquoise, the robin’s egg blue. Aneliese is sprinting through meadows, heart pumping, straining against its captivity, racing against no one but the assassin of liberty. At worst, she is silence reverberating off of walls, compiled of empty promises and held up by broken smiles. At best she is all-encompassing laughter, she is watching the abstract stars paint a celestial picture and crickets compose a symphony for an audience of one. Aneliese dreams of something more infinite behind the veil of stars, she fantasizes galaxies and cosmos that lay a map to her fate. She pretends that the moon isn’t so far from her outstretched hands and that the wind will carry her away. She knows that she is confined to oblivion and lives in a void of unknown; she knows she is uncertain and unpredictable, and while she is still discovering herself among the heavens, there is no other way she would want to live than in between existence and reverie.

Comments

Beautiful! also blessed to

Submitted by Ahodge901 on Sat, 2015-10-17 15:37.

Beautiful! also blessed to have the same name as you haha!

Beautiful! also blessed to

Submitted by Ahodge901 on Sat, 2015-10-17 15:36.

Beautiful! also blessed to have the same name as you haha!

Good sentence structure

Submitted by AlysaB on Mon, 2015-12-14 02:44.

Your use of language is very eloquent, and your first sentence especially made a great first impression. However, if anything, I'd suggest that you vary your sentence length every once in a while. When readers get bombarded with walls of text, it can get a little tiring, no matter how beautiful the language. While you had some pretty creative sentence structure going on, you tended to use that same template for multiple sentences at a time (for instance, your frequent use of semi-colons). Other than that, I found your entry very entertaining and informative.