Just to say in advance, I am so not giving you this. I am going to throw this away, but this is my letter to you.
You are really special to me and a lot of girls pick that up from you. I know they pick up how your so funny, so sweet and loving. You are and I know they love your personality and how cool you are without even trying. You are really special, maybe because you're just like me. I never really thought that I could have some many things in common with you, or even with another individual to be very honest. I know you know that we are like the closest friends to anyone and they and you know that I understand you like no one can. I think there's something you don't know: that I secretly have like a umm... crush on you... like I like you... I know I will never tell you that, like even if we were in public, like in person talking together, for some reason I won't give you eye contact. I would look away, but you know that already. You're like the only one who I feel really understands me. It's crazy. I know if anything happens to you I think I would go crazy. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
You should know that you--and you only--are the one keeping me here, sadly, besides my family, because I’m attached and you get me. You know somewhat, what I’m going through. If you could see my handwriting, you would see it getting sloppier because I’m getting madder. You just don't understand. You wouldn't know how much, how fast my emotions could change from a single action or word. I don't think anyone does. I guess I am kind of crazy. I am, but now you know how much I love you. I want to get away from you … yes, I want to get away from you. You are the cause or my happiness and my sadness. You have the control over my emotions, my heart, my everything. You have the control over me. I don't like it. It's taking over. You are taking over my prime. You are all I think about to be honest. I’m trying to forget you. I just cant take it any more. It's hard for me because I am already attached to you, but I’m trying and I'm going to keep on trying. I just don't don't like knowing how many girls are on you. I get really mad because I get jealous and stuff. It's crazy, I know. I know, but no one knows how much I cried that Friday night because to know that you like her and that she was all over you. It broke my heart. She was supposedly my friend, but to me she's just my neighbor from upstairs who's desperate for a boyfriend, but to her, I’m her best friend in the world. She somewhat knew that you were important. I hate the fact that people don't like to see you happy, but you knew everything that happened, and you're just like me. You knew what she was trying to do, but I also understand how you were blindly in love at that point. I just couldn't take it. I was about to explode right then and there, but something told me to stop. I know you felt that I was upset. I didn't want to show it at all, but I am a human, and I have human emotions and feelings. Sometimes I wish I wasn't human, and there are sometimes I believe I'm not. Only because I don't think or act like most girls I know, well ALL of the girls I know. Sadly it doesn't make any sense half of the things they do, to me.
I have to get away from you. It's for my own good because I am attached to you, and I know you're no good. But the thing is that I care about you a lot and I really like you. Look you're just so delicate to me. I don't want to lose you. I’m so soft. I’m so emotionally deep, deep, deep, deep inside I will cry you a river and never get over you. You’re just something I can't live without now. You're just something I can't get enough of. I act so different around you for some reason. I guess it's because you make me happy, and like you make me feel good about myself, because I would never have thought that a person like you would really hang out with a person like me. But then again, you could be using me. You could be playing me all along. You have the power to control me: my emotions, my actions. I just don't want to get my heart broken.
I’d told you this once, and I’ll repeat it a thousand times: I will do anything for you and I’m guessing you know that already. Maybe that's probably why you're doing all of this. You’re so clever. You're using me. You know you have me under your wing. I'm not like the rest. I'm not like the rest, I know what you're trying to do. Trust me. I know what you're trying to do. But its all because you know that I’m in love with you, but who doesn't.
I'm glad I’m moving away, one less stress. You were my first love since elementary. A part of me doesn't want to leave, but I guess it's for the best. You are the only one that is somewhat there for me, and I appreciate that lots, but this is my goodbye from me to you only. Only because I loved you and still do. I think it's better for me to do it this way. One day I will get over you, I promise. One day I'll come back and find you only because our connections were really strong.