Bases Loaded, Two Outs

Sep 30, 2014
by: RMorales

To me indelible moments means a moment that I will never forget. It also means times that I will hate and love. For example, a time that you never forgot that someone died, a time that you did something that you will never forget or something that you saw these are indelible moments. Indelible is the same thing as a tattoo in that it never can be removed. The same things with scars. They will never be removed. They will always look how they look.

An indelible moment that happened to me was a long time ago, playing baseball. There were 3 men on base. The next batter up: strike 1, strike 2 strike 3. Strike out! Another batter came up: ball 1, ball 2, ball 3. Then: strike 1, strike 2, and strike 3 -- with 3 balls! Then I came up: strike 1, ball 1. All I did was to concentrate on the pitcher's arm, how he was throwing. He throws the ball, and I hit it! It goes high into the sky! Home run, with bases loaded. Now that's something I'm never going to forget!

Things that make memories indelible are the things that happened that you really cared about and really liked. It will affect you for the rest of your life. These moments can be good or bad. The things that don't become indelible are the things that happened that you really don't care about. For example, you've heard someone got hurt or something really bad happened to him, and you really won't care because you don't know that person.


I really like how you

celestecz's picture
Submitted by celestecz on Sun, 2014-10-05 14:41.

I really like how you described indelible moments as being good or bad, not just good. I also enjoyed how when you wrote about your experience with baseball, you really showed how you felt and what was going on in the moment. Something you could do to improve your writing is by wrapping up the conclusion a little better, I felt like your writing just kind of stopped in the middle. Also, I noticed a few grammatical errors, make sure to proofread!

All in all, I enjoyed your story. Good job!

Your friend,

Celeste C.