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Can sex lead to love?

Discussion
Nov 25, 2011
by: michellea
Sunset Clouds by nicole.hedd a Youth Voices pool photographer on Flickr

I just read this blog Brett, S. (2011) The Sydney Morning Herald. Can sex lead to love, [blog] 4th November, Available at: http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/archives/2008/11/can_sex_lead_t... [Accessed: 24th Novemeber 2011]. I think this can really clearify one reason people fall in love: SEX. Brett says that having sex with one person many times, can make you attracted to them.

One sentence that stood out for me was "They say love is like a drug that brings about a sensation of euphoria and pleasure so intense it can become highly addictive." I think this really explains how love gets to you. A lot of guys and girls avoid falling in love, but when love is in the air, you can't escape it.

I'm pretty sure this is true because Brett did research. She asked a doctor, and he proved it right. To test it, he asked a beauty therapist who has a male bestfriend of 3 years to have sex. She proved it right, he fell for her, but it's not what she wanted.

Another sentence that stood out for me was, "We all know you can have sex without falling in love." I knew a guy in my old school, who had had sex with one girl for three years. He had sex with her because he was scared to fall in love with someone who would hurt him. He didn't want to fall for her, but he did the more she comforted him with sex and more sex. He later saw himself asking her on a date. And now, they will make four years of being together, including the sex years.

I double checked this fact though Schultz, R. (2011) Healthy Self . Casual Sex: Why It CAN Lead to Love, [blog] 6th Oct, Available at: http://www.self.com/health/blogs/healthyself/2011/10/casual-sex-why-it-c... [Accessed: 24th November 2011]. Her blog pretty much says the same thing. Casual sex with the same person can lead to a relationship. It just takes a risk.

I honestly thought that in order to fall in love, you need someone who understand you pysically, mentally, and emotionally. I knew sex had to do with falling for someone, now I think friends with benefits often do catch feelings.

Comments

I'm not sure if sex leads to

Submitted by Matthew Graybosch on Fri, 2011-11-25 18:01.

I'm not sure if sex leads to love, but think of it from a different angle: if you trust somebody enough that you're willing to be naked with them, and let them touch you, and risk having a child with that person, then there's probably some emotional component behind your decision to have sex.

Matthew ; that's my point.

Submitted by michellea on Tue, 2011-11-29 22:10.

Matthew ;

that's my point. like would you really expose yourself to someone you don't trust? I mean at any moment, a condom could break, or birth control can go wrong. So I think in order to have sex with them, there has to be some type of feelings.

Michelle <3

I believe it

Submitted by christopherc on Sun, 2011-11-27 21:05.

Dear Michellea:
I believe sex can lead to love. I mean if ya'll already having sexual activity and ya'll enjoy it is only a matter of time before someone get's attached. Eventually one of them will catch feelings. Maybe a relationship that started off with sex can last longer who knows. But I do believe that sex can lead to love. Nice post Michellea.

thanks. Most teenagers are

Submitted by michellea on Tue, 2011-11-29 22:09.

thanks. Most teenagers are having sex and yeah, I mean being friends with benfits... don't you eventually catch feelings? And like in the end, they end up getting together.

Michelle <3

I Agree

Submitted by jadas on Mon, 2011-11-28 14:04.

I agree with this theory because its proven to be true and I can relate to it. Usually when people start to have casual sex they tend to start catching feelings for one another. Some people might think this theory isn't true but I know from first hand experience that you can fall in love from having sex.

Yes, many people will deny

Submitted by michellea on Tue, 2011-11-29 22:12.

Yes, many people will deny this. Like at first, it will be sex. Just someone to go to when you get into the mood, or pleasure you, whatever. And then, you find yourself liking the person. Having sex with the same person over and over, you can fall for them.

Michelle <3

I had very much interest in

Submitted by krystalm on Wed, 2011-11-30 12:24.

I had very much interest in this post , its true & very a topic to think twice or maybe even three times about. And you couldn't of said this any better "I honestly thought that in order to fall in love, you need someone who understand you pysically, mentally, and emotionally. I knew sex had to do with falling for someone, now I think friends with benefits often do catch feelings. "

Yeah, like when I was kid I

Submitted by michellea on Mon, 2012-02-13 11:17.

Yeah, like when I was kid I was told in order to have sex, the person had to be your partner. And as I grew older I saw more and more people be friends with benefits.

Michelle <3

Michelle

Submitted by stephanieb on Wed, 2011-11-30 12:45.

I honestly do think that sex and love are connected other then in the obvious ways. when you really think about it i think that when you really love someone sex seems way better then when your just "fucking". in the other hand i don't think just because you have sex with someone you would fall in love but i guess over a period of time of being intimate with one other person it wold just end up happening that way.

Well, I believed it because

Submitted by michellea on Mon, 2012-02-13 11:18.

Well, I believed it because one of my family members had sex with a girl. A few weeks later he got with her. I mean would you really expose your body to a total stranger without having some type or feeling or developing them later in the future?

Michelle <3

I honestly think that

Submitted by stephanieb on Mon, 2012-02-13 13:51.

I honestly think that everyone who gets sexually involved with someone especially a female is looking forward to building something but in reality you have sex and nothing happens.

Well there are times, you

Submitted by michellea on Wed, 2012-03-28 13:12.

Well there are times, you have sex and don't feel nothing at all. I mean, doesn't there have to be something there for you to want to have sex with them? Or can it be just looks?

Michelle <3

I Like that you Had This

Submitted by krystalm on Tue, 2012-03-27 12:37.

I Like that you Had This Question in mind because I think about this to, and you just made it easier on my thoughts by looking the question up and giving your opinion sometimes that's all it takes is for someone else point of view. One thing i liked the most about your post was "I honestly thought that in order to fall in love, you need someone who understand you pysically, mentally, and emotionally" this made me think outside the box because i agree with you i always thought these things are required to call someone your soul mate, your beloved passion for this person had to be clarified in these ways. Well now me and you both know ahah :]. I enjoyed your post.

Dear Krystal: Thanks for your

Submitted by michellea on Wed, 2012-03-28 13:15.

Dear Krystal:

Thanks for your comment. It is nice to hear that you also thought the same way. But I think the more that you open up to someone, and sleep with them, well it gotta mean something? I have seen relationships build after sex. I don't mean a one night stand, but I think if you have the same sex partner for a while, then I think that's when feelings start to develop.

Michelle <3

Dear Michelle, I Like that

Submitted by wadseq on Thu, 2012-03-29 11:09.

Dear Michelle,

I Like that you Had This Question in mind because I think about this to, and you just made it easier on my thoughts by looking the question up and giving your opinion sometimes that's all it takes is for someone else point of view. One thing i liked the most about your post was "I honestly thought that in order to fall in love, you need someone who understand you pysically, mentally, and emotionally" this made me think outside the box because i agree with you i always thought these things are required to call someone your soul mate, your beloved passion for this person had to be clarified in these ways. . I enjoyed your post a lot because I felt many teenagers and parents get this type of information mixed up. That is the main reason why parents do not trust their teenagers. Thanks for writing.

Dear Sequoia: You just

Submitted by michellea on Mon, 2012-04-02 13:10.

Dear Sequoia:

You just pointed out something interesting. When you said "I enjoyed your post a lot because I felt many teenagers and parents get this type of information mixed up. That is the main reason why parents do not trust their teenagers". I actually never looked at it like that. You proved a point.

Maybe that's why parents are so over protective of their teens.

Michelle <3