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Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?

Discussion
Feb 28, 2012
by: cassil
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Something that I have been interested in learning more about has been if people can maintain healthy relationships without involving sex. I remember my best friend and I talking about it one time in a sleepover, but even though we had similar opinions we were still unsure on whether we had an answer. Lately, the issue has caught my eye again. I know that many people feel that sex is a must in a relationship. From what I’ve heard not many people believe it’s possible. For example, I heard that if you “give it up” right away you're considered smutty, but if you wait a while it’s fine. Now that’s just what I’ve heard, it may not be true.

One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important. Now, I’ve studied my share of relationships and believe it to be uncertain personally, It’s funny to me how relationships last longer when nobody/few know(s) your business.

Maintaining a healthy relationship without sex has always been a questionable statement. Our generations change, and become more developed than the last. Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a “relationship.” Truth be told, we all know that the term “sex” is meant for adults and married couples, us teens are taught sexual education to maintain us cautious about our social environment. Many times we are misled into peer pressure, we just give in because of the moment, or we feel we’re in love. Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation.

Being that I didn’t have a lot of background information on keeping a relationship without sex, I chose to do some research on the topic. As I searched for blogs and news articles on Google, I came across this one article: Maintaining a Healthy Relationship Tips, http://relationship.lifetips.com/cat/64854/maintaining-a-healthy-relatio... . This article provided a lot of information and opinions on how to maintain a healthy relationship. Some people felt that in order to maintain the relationship there were seven easy steps “how to.” Some of these steps included: trust and respect, communication, and fighting fair. “Avoid blame and judgment.” This statement didn’t really surprise me all that much, but it did make me feel like it’s something many people do. Every human judges on another, and others blame the wrong person. In a relationship this becomes a problem, because you are supposed to accept your partner with flaws and all.

In another article, “How to Help Your Teenagers regain or maintain Their Virginity" http://liferelationships.com/resources/articles/viewarticle.asp?articlei... , there was this one statement that made me shake my head in disagreement or rather say, shame with the writer. It was: “ In a recent national study, 54% of teenagers in grades 9 through 12 said they had had sexual intercourse.” This is so true because when I entered high school I never knew so many of my peers were sexually active. As I got to know them better, I became use to the fact that virgins were very rare. I believe that that percentage just increases by the generation, because like stated before they just develop quicker.

All of this makes me think that chances are you can’t always maintain a healthy relationship without sex. Although, you should never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. Always think ahead, and what comes next. Picture yourself in all the scenarios possible, good and bad. Last but not least, make sure you’re making the right decision and feel physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared.

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Comments

Dear Silvia: I like your post

Submitted by michellea on Fri, 2012-03-02 11:10.

Dear Silvia:

I like your post "Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex". I do disagree with some of the statements you made.

For one, when you said "Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a “relationship." I don't think that's why they do it. I personally think &+ from my experiences, they do it because they want to be like everyone else. Like when I was 12 I cut school because my older cousin cut school. I wanted to fit in with her and her friends. Now sex, the way I see it is, when your a preteen, you want to grow up to fast.

I liked when you said "Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation." At a time, I felt like I was in love. And I thought I'd want my ex boyfriend to take my virginity. We dated for 9 months. Funny thing is, we never had sex. I was 12 and he was 16. And he never pressured me to have sex or anything. I didn't think I was old enough to have sex. It's what we should teach young girls. My mom always told me, "if he loves you, he'll wait".

I do think trust and respect is a HUGE step. Me and my boyfriend now, we are sexually active. We have 2 years together but we don't have sex all the time. I make him wait when I don't want to have sex. And he waits. I do think me &+ him could be in a relationship without sex. I loved him before we had sex, and I'll love him without the sex. We have more fun when we are not having sex, honestly.

I don't agree when you said "In a recent national study, 54% of teenagers in grades 9 through 12 said they had had sexual intercourse.” This is so true because when I entered high school I never knew so many of my peers were sexually active". When I was in middle school, my peers were sexually active. Some got pregnant.

When you said "I believe that that percentage just increases by the generation, because like stated before they just develop quicker". I agree, there's a lot of young boys and girls having sex. But when I was in middle school, I didn't know about sex til about 8th grade. And to think, sex used to scare me.

Michelle <3

Response

Submitted by cassil on Fri, 2012-03-02 13:54.

Dear Michelle:

Thank you for your comment, I loved it. I enjoyed the fact that you agreed with me, but also disagreed and stated your reasons why. One example was when you stated "they do it because they want to be like everyone else." This turned the light bulb in my head on, because it's definitely another reason why preteens are sexually active.

I think it's cool how your boyfriend respects your decisions when you don't want to do it. It's great how ya loved each other before you two were sexually involved and still do now, it shows he wasn't just with you to get into your pants. It's so much fun when you're in a playful relationship. You share laughs together, and your comfortable with one another, it's like your partner becomes your best friend, and you learn to cherish one another more.

Thanks for commenting back. I

Submitted by michellea on Tue, 2012-03-06 11:28.

Thanks for commenting back.

I do think my boyfriend is my best friend. It is fun when your boyfriend is more like a best friend. We have fun going to the movies and being out rather then being home having sex all day.

At first, I felt stupid for losing it cause I thought he'd leave me. But when if was over, he stood with me. And made sure he didn't hurt me. I immediately knew he loved me. I'm very comfortable around him, as he is with me.

Michelle <3

:)

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 15:58.

I hope you guys last ! <3

i hope your relationship

Submitted by rodjus on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:25.

i hope your relationship last.

Kit Kat

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:28.

Yours too Justin, K+J.

today she picked me up from

Submitted by rodjus on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:37.

today she picked me up from my house, took me to eat breakfast at micky'ds. she bought me a heresy and walked me to school.
ps. longest relationship. 1month and a half.
players can change to be lovers to one girl, and not the whole world.
#REEEEEEGGGGULAR.

Justin!

Submitted by concha on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:43.

awwwww!!!!!! I hope you both last :'] I like seeing you happy. I still can't believe it's your longest relationship, but hey! congrats to you <3

Oh, and shouldn't YOU be doing all that stuff instead of her? :| I mean you are the man in this relationship. lol love you.

lol. yea i am the man and

Submitted by rodjus on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:45.

lol.
yea i am the man and what i says goes.
but it is only because i have school at 10:10 today.
it's crazy because he went to school late just to
see me for about 20 mins.
i guess she really loves me.
i haven't met a girl who has done half the stuff
kitkat does for me.

Testimony

Submitted by Cathy on Mon, 2013-10-07 14:09.

i want to share a surprising testimony on how my ex-boyfriend come back begging me to forgive him that he still love and cherish me that he want to be with me alone, he break up with me 5 months ago i do every things possible to have him back, he block me on Facebook and not answering my call any more, i was so confuse and heart broken because i love him so much, i must not forget my old school friend name (Vicky) she was the one that introduce me to DR OMOZOKPIA and i explain all about my relationship between me and Alex, i have never in my life hard about return and love spell that DR OMOZOKPIA did for me that make my man come fast in just 48 hours, till now i am still surprise good things like love spell exist in this earth wow thank you once again DR and i will always share you wonderful testimony, you can reach him at: omozokpialovetemple@outlook.com   

I completely agree that the

Submitted by CA on Mon, 2013-10-21 10:55.

I completely agree that the love makes the relationship deeper on many levels.

recently i have been dating and my partner and i are deeply in love and have a great friendship, trust and respect for one another, even tho we have not had sex yet. I have even had to endure critisim by friends who believe a relationship can not last when love comes before sex. What does it say about our society when some no longer believe in a true spiritual love with another person. Just hanging in there and stickin to my beleifs, I feel it is upto the couple to decide when they are ready for sex not social peer pressure.

I Loved Your Post ! <3

Submitted by feryen on Mon, 2012-03-05 12:31.

Dear Silvia:

I loved your post, “Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?,” because it’s something me as a teenager still figuring out when it comes to relationship. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “ Every human judges on another, and others blame the wrong person.” I think this is acceptable because it’s true many people judges on other and blame the wrong person without even know about that person life or what that person is going through.

Another sentence that I liked was: “you are supposed to accept your partner with flaws and all.” This is stood out for me because it’s something that teenagers should need to know more about when it comes to be in a relationships.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to my best friend. One time she decided to talk to me about her boyfriend and what occur between them. So, she told me she have sex with him, because she thought it was the right time, and since it was her first year in high school some of her friends told her that it was fun to do it “have sex”. However, she told me she was not ready yet and she felt peer pressure from her friends, but she wanted to fit in with them. After all, what affects her the most was that after she gave her virginity away to her boyfriend, he break up with her the next day and most likely people began to judge her and blame her who were the people that approach her to do it and peer pressure her. But, she told that she learn a lesson that was “When you want to be in a relationship with somebody you and your partner decide when is the right time to have sex or not.”

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write, because it’s a topic that I lately want to know more about you and most likely I learn from your post everything about a healthy relationship without sex.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:09.

Dear Yeny:

Thanks for your comment! I'm glad I was able to answer some of your questions on this topic. I also like how you agreed with me on the whole, people judge one another. It's true and we should all agree on that. Not every teenager is fully mentally developed to accept their partners flaws.

Your story reminds me of a lot of different cases that happens in high school. Constantly, teens are regretting losing their virginity's. Peer pressure has a big strength, you just have to be stronger to overcome it.

- $ilvia

:)

Submitted by rodjen on Mon, 2012-03-05 12:07.

Dear Silvia,

I loved your post, “Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?” because people sometimes think to have healthy relationship, sex is necessary Many people asked themselves that same question, and wonder if it is needed it to maintain their relationship.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important.” A healthy relationship should be based on respect and trust. If a relationship did not have does components, it will not work for long.

Another sentence that I agreed with was “Every human judges on another, and others blame the wrong person. In a relationship this becomes a problem, because you are supposed to accept your partner with flaws and all.” This stood out for me because it is true because in a relationship both people who they are. In a relationship, people should respect each other’s beliefs and way of thinking.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I was talking to my friends about relationships and we discussed the different types of perspective some people have. Sometimes they have sex because of pressure or to be cool,and the answer can varied depending on the person.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your writing grabs my attention and was very interesting knowing your point of view.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:17.

Dear Jennifer:

Thanks for your comment! I really enjoyed reading what you thought about my post. I agree with you on that this is a topic many people question themselves about.

I agree with you that the answers vary depending on the people. Teens have all sorts of different reasons as to why they're sexually involved.

I Hope you continue on reading my posts.

- $ilvia

Great Post :)

Submitted by lirkry on Sun, 2012-03-04 13:03.

Dear Silvia,

I loved your post “Can you maintain a healthy relationship without having sex?”, because it’s an extremely important question for teens in this generation. Most teens around the age 15 or 16 already have had sex, and for most people it seems normal. One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is: “It’s funny to me how relationships last longer when nobody/few know(s) your business.” I think this is extremely true since it’s easy for a relationship to end based on other peoples opinions or rumors.

Another sentence I agreed with was: “Many times we are misled into peer pressure, we just give in because of the moment, or we feel we’re in love.” This sentence stood out to me because it seems most teens are desperate to fall in love. The first week they get into a relationship, they commit their whole life to that person. That could lead to dangerous consequences, such a sex, and maybe a possible heart break.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was very cautious. My last boyfriend broke up with me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, so my opinion on boys weren’t all that nice. However, my boyfriend was sweet and never pressured me. We have talked about sex, and I explained to him I wasn’t ready at all. He was okay with this, which proves my point that respect is key in a relationship. Me and my boyfriend waited until we were a year into the relationship and were completely sure we were ready. I can say me and him are honestly in love, and we trust and care for each other greatly. I do believe you can maintain a healthy relationship without sex. Me and boyfriend don't always have sex, and it's not a huge deal. He doesn't ask for it, he prefers being with me than being sexual active. I believe if the two people are totally committed, sex won't even matter to them.

Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you seem to be a smart and interesting writer.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:27.

Dear Kryssel:

Thanks for your comment, it was really thoughtful and I enjoyed reading it. I agreed with almost about everything you stated on your opinion.

I agree that sometimes we believe we're in love, and later realize we're not. Sometimes your partner goes along with the act to just get into your pants, and other times they get tired of trying. It's a good thing your last relationship ended, because it didn't seem too healthy. No boy that loves you will leave you just because you don't want them in your pants.

I'm glad you and your boyfriend now are working out so well now, I think it's great how he still loves you even after the sex. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling like it's the right time and going ahead and following your instincts. If it were a mistake, it wouldn't matter, because they're just lessons learned.

One sentence that stood out to me was: "I believe if the two people are totally committed, sex won't even matter to them." This is true, because sex shouldn't be everything in a real relationship.

- $ilvia

Healthy relationship with no sex

Submitted by vargen on Sun, 2012-03-04 18:55.

Dear Silvia,
I enjoyed your post “Can you main a Healthy Relationship without having sex?” because it was very interesting to read. In my opinion, I do believe you can maintain healthy relationship without sex because both the male and female will grow to love the internal part of their partner. Now in this generation, it might not be easy, but it’s always worth trying. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a ‘relationship.’” These little kids aren’t even in high school and now a days it’s sad how middle school students have more experience in sexual activity than high school students themselves. Most of us don’t realize that sex is an option, it’s not something that we need to do in order to survive.

Another sentence that caught my attention was: “Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation.” This happens to many of us, especially when we go through our “first love.” Many of us are infatuated with wanting to be in a relationship just because we feel lonely. Once we get what we want, frustration and problems come along. One of those problems is whether they should have sex or not.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I also was in a sleepover with my cousin and we spoke about the same thing. We both agreed that a relationship can stay healthy without sex. To be honest, I think we can all agree on that not having sex for as long as possible is a good thing. This means that the relationship isn’t only based on sexual activity, but emotional affection and young love. My cousin and I stated that before embarking in a relationship, you should do it because the one person is there, not because you feel unwanted. Getting into a relationship is healthier when you have this emotional connection for the person, not when you have this feeling of alienation in which you just want attention.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to reading more of your up coming posts, whether its about love or food. I like how you wrote about this because many of us know it’s a problem, but never seem to actually express our feelings about it. Most people just say that sex is necessary to fit in and feel “cool.” Stay writing you awesome writer.

Sincerely,
Genesis

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:37.

Dear Genesis:

Thanks for your comment girl! Your comment reminded me of some of our conversations on BBM. I agree with your opinions and your feed back is valid to me. I think it's sad how kids younger than some us have more experience than some of us do. I think relationships with parents should be enhanced, because this generation is growing up corroded.

One sentence that stood out for me was: "My cousin and I stated that before embarking in a relationship, you should do it because the one person is there, not because you feel unwanted." Many of us feel, lonely; in reality we're not. We allow this fake feeling to overcome us rush us into the wrong relationships.

Please so continue reading my posts, I'll make sure to take a look at yours.

- $ilvia

Interesting post

Submitted by dejnat on Mon, 2012-03-05 12:11.

Dear Silvia:
I enjoyed your post, "Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?," because this is something that I, too, have thought about meanwhile I’m in high school. I,personally, think that one can maintain a healthy relationship without having sex. However, sometimes it is impossible to maintain a relationship without having sex, depending on the two people involved in the relationship.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important." I think this is SO true because there is no point of being together if you don’t have trust and don’t have any respect towards each other.
Another sentence that stood out to me was, “Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a “relationship.” This stood out for me because I’ve noticed how little girls watch older people in a relationship, so when they see and hear about what the other have done, they feel as if they need to do it too.
Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time, I had a friend who was in a relationship. Her boyfriend wanted to have sexual intercourse with her but she didn’t feel ready so her boyfriend broke up with her. I always told her that she shouldn’t have to be pressured into doing something she didn’t want to do. Waiting is probably the best thing she could’ve done.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you are a good writer, and I see we have been thinking about similar things.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:42.

Dear Natalie:

Thanks for your comment! I do agree with you, sometimes it is hard to maintain a relationship without having sex. It all depends on the person you're with. You'd be surprised the kinds of people there are out there.

You're right, younger children look up to older children. It's up to us to set examples for our seeds, so they can develop in the proper way. Now a days, not many of older people are setting the right examples for the younger ones that look up to them.

I hope you continue on reading my posts.

- $ilvia

Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?

Submitted by reywin on Mon, 2012-03-05 19:44.

Dear cassil:

I enjoyed your post , “Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?,” because there were thing you said that I agree with a lot and some that makes me wonder about. One sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is: “One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important.’’ I agreed with this because for a two persons to maintain a healthy relationship there must be trust and respect because if there is no trust and respect the relationship will have problems and not work well.
Another sentence that I liked was: “Every human judges on another, and others blame the wrong person. In a relationship this becomes a problem, because you are supposed to accept your partner with flaws and all.” This stood out for me because is true that every human being judge one another and also that other people will blame the wrong person but you should believe your partner no matter what and not believe other people cause that can cause problems in the relationship.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I loved this post and I’m interest in what you might write next.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:45.

Dear Winifer:

Thanks for your comment! It's good to hear that you agree with me on that trust is a big part of a relationship.

In a relationship you aren't suppose to judge one another, because then you just shouldn't be together.

I hope you continue on reading my posts.

- $ilvia

lol. <3

Submitted by rodjus on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:08.

lol.
<3

LOL.

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-06 16:46.

:*

Interesting post silverbell <3

Submitted by hidmar on Wed, 2012-03-07 16:57.

Dear Cassil :

I enjoyed your post, “Can you maintain a health without having sex?” i agree and disagree with some of the things you said like when you stated that “relationships last longer when nobody knows/ few know about your relationship, i agree with that because a year and some change ago i was in a relationship, me and him lasted a year and everyone (his friends and family) swore they knew everything about me and our relationship so they would spread rumors about me or him. and since i knew all his friends they would come to me and tell me but funny thing is let that those who came to me and told me were the ones spreading rumors. one sentence i disagreed with was when you said that “i know that many people feel like sex is a must in a relationship”

There was another sentence that caught my attention which was “if you ‘give it up’ right away your consider smutty” i agree with that IF what you mean is when a girl first meets a guy and she automatically gives it up to him but if the girl feels like she’s ready and feels like he’s the right one then why would you consider her a smut?

like i said before, i had a boyfriend in which everyone our relationship knew about us so it made it hard for us to trust each other because people would make up that ’m cheating on him or that he’s cheating on me so we would argue many times that’s why i agree much with what you said earlier about relationships being better when nobody knows about your business.

thanks for your writing. i look forward to reading what you post next because it seems like you have good thoughts and are very open-minded.

Rsponse

Submitted by cassil on Thu, 2012-03-08 13:52.

Dear Maribella:

Thanks for your comment :*! I hate that some people can't stand to see others happy. It's always the "chimosos" that can't mind their business. That's hypocritical and fake how the people who came to you telling you the "rumors" were the same ones spreading them.

What I meant by smutty was that, it's if they give it up as soon as you meet them, then yea... everyone sees it as wrong, but not if you feel ready.

- $ilvia

I like this

Submitted by ellvic on Thu, 2012-03-15 13:27.

Dear Silvia,

I loved your post, “Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without sex?” because it connects with lives of teenagers. It has can also help teenager get a better understanding of relationship.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important.” I think this is great because this is something that everyone should know. The first thing to a relationship is trust and respect. If, there isn’t respect and trust the relationship will not last.

Another sentence that I enjoyed was: “Always think ahead, and what comes next.” This stood out for me because I completely agree. I heard when it comes to teenager having sex they only think about the moment. Teenagers are just not cautious, when it comes to their future.

Your post reminds me of my post. Our post are similar because they both talk about relationships. My post talks about the meaning of a healthy relationship and how it should start.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because it very understandable and enjoyable. It’s also something I can relate to.

Response

Submitted by cassil on Tue, 2012-03-20 15:17.

Thanks for your comment Vicky! I'm glad you think that my post will be able to give teens a clearer understanding of this topic. I agree with you on that a relationship can't last without trust. How are you going to be in a relationship, and worry about what your partner is doing?

I think that most of us teenagers get caught up in the moment. We fall into temptation, and sometimes we make decisions we regret. That's why it's good to think ahead for any situation you have to make a big decision to.

Your post sounds interesting! I'll be sure to go and read your post too.

You should read my other post "The Teenage Mind," and leave a comment on what you think about it.

“can you maintain a healthy relationship without having sex.”

Submitted by yuskha on Sun, 2012-03-18 22:20.

I was really happy to read your post “can you maintain a healthy relationship without having sex.” The reason being a lot of people think sex is the right way to a good relationship, but they stand in corrected. Healthy relationship should not be based on sex. One sentence that stood out to me was when you stated that “One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important.” I 100% agree with that statement because in a relationship; if you don’t trust and respect your partner the relationship is useless.

Another sentence that stood out to me was “Many times we are misled into peer pressure, we just give in because of the moment, or we feel we’re in love. Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation.” This statement is true because in the society today there is a lot of peer pressure that leads young teenagers into having sex. Some teenagers feel the need to have sex to maintain a good relationship but that is false.

Your post “can you maintain a healthy relationship without having sex.” is definitely a post I can relate to. There are a lot of people around me that pressure me into the conversation of sex. I try my best to ignore it because at the end of the day I know what is right and what is wrong.

Thank you for your post I really enjoyed and loved it. I look forward into reading more of your post. I like the fact on how you voiced your opinion on the whole situation.

Agree *

Submitted by rodzul on Tue, 2012-03-20 20:43.

Dear Silvia,

I enjoyed reading your post. You chose an interesting topic and like you, I’ve had this question several times before but never really did research on it. You made several good points about this topic and I agree with your opinions. I agree that many teenagers don’t really know the meaning of “sex.” I think in today’s society the meaning of sex has changed. And it is true that a major part of teens today aren’t virgins. Today, people as young as 13 are not virgins anymore. I think it’s because some teens feel the need to grow up quick even if they know they aren’t prepared, and some are peer pressured. But I think later on in the future some would regret it because they didn’t wait for the right person. One sentence you wrote that stood out to me was: “Many times we are misled into peer pressure, we just give in because of the moment, or we feel we’re in love. Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation.” I think this is true because many people don’t think about their actions. I think people shouldn’t give in because of the moment, they should make sure they are prepared. Those who are pressured should be more aware and shouldn’t let others influence their decisions.

Another sentence that I found interesting was: “Last but not least, make sure you’re making the right decision and feel physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared.” I personally think this is important, I think people should make sure they are prepared. People shouldn’t do things because others are doing it and especially shouldn’t do something if someone is pressuring them. People should make sure they are making the correct decisions.

Thanks for your writing. I think maintaining a healthy relationship without having sex is a great topic to talk about. I really look forward to seeing what you write next.

Hello

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 2012-11-27 01:30.

Hey there,

I am doing a project for my communications class on relationships and I happened to come across this page.

I started reading and became pretty interested in what you had to say.

I like how you did some research and how you were curious about the subject.

I know I came on here a little late, but I just thought I would share my opinion and maybe give a different point of view!

I have had two boyfriends: My first boyfriend and I dated for over a year before we split, and I have been dating my current boyfriend for the same amount of time.

In both relationships, I decided that staying pure until marraige was very important. I am a Christian so it is personally a choice I have made. I must say, though, you can certainly maintain a healthy relationship without sex. To be honest, I believe that without it I tend to focus way more on other aspects on my relationship.

It also makes it so we have something to look forward to if we stay together. It hasn't been an easy choise, let me assure you. Haha, but I know that it is worth it.

I know that you don't see too many 19 year old virgins running around, but I know this is a choice that I certainly won't regret (:

 

Hope this helped!

:)

Submitted by rolail on Fri, 2013-04-12 11:28.

Dear Silvia:
I am impressed by,your article your post, "Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?
," because it tells you how to keep a relationship. It shows why relationships don't work out and how you can fix it. It also show what relationship now and days are like because of the boys just wanting sex.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "I heard that if you “give it up” right away you're considered smutty, but if you wait a while it’s fine" I think this is true because... I hear it alot too. I believe it is true because you shouldn't just give it up right away. You want the moment to last with the right person.
Another sentence that I amazed me was: " Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a ‘relationship’." This stood out for me because i hear little girls around 12 years old say that they have a boyfriend and they love them so they have sex with them. I don't think its right to have sex at a young age.
Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time i was friends with this 11 year old girl and she kept talking about how she has a boyfriend and she loves him. i asked her how long she knew him and it was only a few weeks. She said she wants to lose her virginity and i told her not to because she is too young for that. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because when i talk to little girls that say they in love and want to have sex because they think there boyfriend going to break up with them i will know exactly what to tell them.

Interesting

Submitted by almray on Tue, 2013-04-23 12:57.

Dear Silvia :

I am surprised by your post, "Can you maintain a Healthy Relation without having Sex?," because most of the things you said was shocking to know.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a “relationship.”" I think this is ridiculous because to be honest most kid think that they are ready for stuff like that and that's why we have the girls and guys that have kids under the age of 20.

Another sentence that I agreed with was: "Some people felt that in order to maintain the relationship there were seven easy steps “how to.” Some of these steps included: trust and respect, communication, and fighting fair. “Avoid blame and judgment.” " This stood out for me because that's the time when you really feel that you know that’s the person you want to be with for a long time and you think that you can try to go to the next level without no regret.

I do agree with you that nowadays this generation just has sex without thinking about the results of what they are doing. One reason I say this is because now people are having kids at the ages of 16.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because teenage sex is something that got me wondering till this day and why most people have unprotected sex.

Dear Silvia, I am interested

Submitted by huntia on Tue, 2013-04-23 15:21.

Dear Silvia,
I am interested by your post "Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?," because I thought that you made some very good points. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important." I think this is very interesting because i personally find this very true. Another sentence that I interest in was: " It’s funny to me how relationships last longer when nobody/few know(s) your business." This stood out for me because I totally think that this is a very important key to having a healthy relationship.I do agree with you that a relationship can be healthy without sex.One reason I say this is personally I can relate.Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I thought that this was a good article.

wowwww!!!!!!

Submitted by amagom on Mon, 2013-05-13 16:12.

Dear Silvia,
I am surprised by your post “Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?” because this is a very interesting topic, and it caught my attention. I’ve asked myself how can you maintain a healthy relationship? As a teenager this is a common question to ask. Many teenagers wonder if they should have sex when they’re in a relationship and how having sex would affect their relationship. Your post answered many of my questions, and it was very informative.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important.” I totally agree with this statement because if there’s no trust in a relationship, it would not last, and if there’s no respect, things would be out of control. I think trust and respect are the most important things to keep a relationship healthy. I don’t think sex would make a relationship healthier, if it was never healthy then sex wouldn’t change anything.

Another sentence that I liked was: “Last but not least, make sure you’re making the right decision and feel physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared.” This stood out for me because I think that if you feel that you’re prepared in every single way, you would not regret anything. People shouldn’t do what they don’t want to do because it would affect them in a way or another.

Your post reminds of when I first started high school because I’m the youngest one in my grade, and I met all these people that are sexually active, and I never thought it will be so common between them. I think that in this generation having sex when you’re in a relationship is something that people don’t think it’s weird anymore. I do believe people shouldn’t be having sex at such a young age because it is way too early, but people will always have different opinions.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because I enjoyed reading your post, and I learned a lot from it. I think you did a really nice job writing this post.

Sex...that it

Submitted by tamjen on Tue, 2013-05-14 11:29.

Dear Silvia,
I like your post” Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex? Some of the statement that you’ve made I agree, and the others I disagree. Forexample, I totally agree with you that “you should never feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do.” Someone should not be pressured to have sex in a relationship just because there partner wants to. If their partner cares, then they will wait until they are both ready. Another thing that you said that I agreed on was “Now we have children as young as 12 indulging themselves in sexual activity simply, because they think it’s the thing to do when in a “relationship.” This is true because there are people nowadays that are in relationships at a young age. They believe that the main reason to be in a relationship is to have sex. That is not true. Some people have sex just because everyone is doing it and they think that it is “cool”.
Something that you said that I disagree with is “sex is a must in a relationship.” It is not a must. A relationship is to be there for someone, have loyalty, trust, and they have to both be faithful. It is not just to get in bed with each other. That will become an unhealthy relationship.

hi!!    i really love your

Submitted by homayinsin on Thu, 2013-08-15 04:46.

hi!!   

i really love your atricle about "keeping a healthy relationship without sex, and i totally agree with you.

but i have a problem with my relationship too, am 21 and i have this boyfriend, we have been dating for 9 months now, and he has been pressurising me this last few days for sex so much that he often gets mad at me.

i really do not want to have sex with him now because i feel our relationship is too young, plus we are having a problem with our religion, he is a muslim and  i am a catholic so my dad does not want me to get settled down with a muslim. Not only that , he is about to leave the country for his studies and for basketball, he is a baskeball player, and u need to see the way girls flock around him, cos he is really a good and popular basketball players.

   I really fear that i might give myself to him and he'll forget me especially when he tavels abroad for his career.

according to him he says , the moment he gets settled abroad he'll make arrangement for me to come over and stay with him so we can have our kids over there.

  pls advice me what do i do, plus you know sex is meant for adults and married people .having sex before marriage or with multiple men is a sin.

  pls advice me what can i do to keep my relationship, especially when he goes away from the country so that my relationship does not flop.

and according to him he says the only way he will be able to resite from the pressure of other gurls is if he has sex with me , he says it will help him preserve himself better , and to resite the temptation from other gurls, but if he does not have sex with me , he might fall pray to other girls because he has been having a very strong urge to have sex. do you think his agurment is true , then what do i do??

thenks;;;

 

Mad!

Submitted by acruz on Thu, 2013-10-24 14:34.

I am mad about your post,"Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex" because i feel like you cannot maintain a healthy relationship without sex. I feel like you should love your boyfriend or girlfriend and show her affection, show her some love. I feel like having sex isn't bad either.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is:"" I think this is because...

Another sentence that I was:<

Dear Cassil I completely

Submitted by aphal on Sat, 2013-10-12 12:47.

Dear Cassil

I completely agree with your post because I believe many couples break up because there is no sex involve. Many of them are pressured to lose it too, then they regret it and say they should have waited.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is "All of this makes me think that chances are you can’t always maintain a healthy relationship without sex." I think this is very accurate because people always assume that a couple that has gone out for a while already had sex, but some couples wait till marriage.

I do agree with you that many people get pressured, but you are right to say that people have a choice to do it or not. Plus you are suppose to accept a person's flaws, but when you tell them the truth, they suddenly want to get mad.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because everything you wrote in your post is accurate and I have to agree with you.

Good topic.

Submitted by 16robledok on Tue, 2013-10-22 12:51.

I really liked the statements you made about sex and a relationship. Nowadays, it seems like sex is inevitable and so you must do your best to lose your virginity as early as possible. It possible that you dont have to lose virginity in a relationship, but usually this is not the case. Either one of the couple are wanting to be sexually active or already are and so sex can be defined as inevitable in todays age of society. I guess sex is necessary in a relationship, but it should not be forced upon.

Dear Silvia : I am impressed

Submitted by hernandez2 on Wed, 2014-03-19 11:09.

Dear Silvia :
I am impressed by your post "Can you maintain a healthy relationship without having sex" because it talked about many things that are true to today’s teenage community. This post made me reflect on some of the things going on around me, and it also made me consider how important it is to make a decision so big of either having sex or not. Many relationship in today’s society have this as a base when we all know a real relationship should be about true feelings, not just physical pleasure.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "One thing that I know for sure about maintaining a healthy relationship is that trust and respect are extremely important." I think this is something to consider because of the way the morals of every individual has changed over time. Because being in a relationship with no pressure is essential, I believe no one should be forced to have sex. If one wants to wait, then they have every right to.
Another sentence that I agreed with was: "... There was this one statement that made me shake my head in disagreement or rather say, shame with the writer. It was: “ In a recent national study, 54% of teenagers in grades 9 through 12 said they had had sexual intercourse.”" This stood out for me because that is a really large percentage of kids going around having sex. This statement means that even 14 year olds are sexually active, which is unacceptable. I however believe that it depends on what they have been told about what is right or wrong.
Your post reminds me of something that i saw in the news. It was about a girl who was 15 years old and got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend whom she had gone out with for a week. This reminds me of your post because it mainly shows a case of a girl who was doing all this, and the consequences she had to pay for it.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you seem like you can support your evidence very well. Your writing really made me think about other decisions and how important someone’s sex life should be. This post in particular was also very interesting because of how your opinion came across.

Great Post!

Submitted by armandocuelloveloz on Thu, 2014-03-20 13:14.

Dear SIlvia :
I am intrigued by your post, "Can you maintain a Healthy Relationship without having Sex?" because in todays society (mainly in the Bronx) young adults are rushing into sex without knowing the pro and cons. Relationships without sex in todays world are labeled as “boring” relationships.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "It’s funny to me how relationships last longer when nobody/few know(s) your business." I think this is true because gossip and lies ruin and rotten relationships. People love being in your business just to be entertained and manipulate you and your partners life.
Another sentence that I noticed was: "Majority of the times, it’s not love we feel, it’s infatuation.” This stood out for me because this is true. We follow what adults do and blame it on love. We’re too young for love but we’re in the spell of infatuation. We want to love, to lust but our mindset isn’t ready for that commitment or hurt.
Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time when I had a relationship sex free. I wanted to abstain but in this society, sex is key for a relationships these days it is what makes people happy.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because this post was very intriguing.