Dear Lucky Friend
Dear Lucky Friend,
Reading this you will probably look at yourself and I hope for your sake that you feel lucky. I have what everyone carries but it weighs too much to handle. I am sixteen years old and I have gone through more than many adults. What I carry with me from day to day is the weight of all the people I have lost. Many of them left before their time which does not make it easier.
I would list off my family and friends that are no longer here but it hurts to look at their names. I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes wonder how long do I have? This isn’t anything that I want to be doing but I can’t help it as life continues and people I care about leave this life. This is obviously a burden but it is a heavy burden. A burden that can only get heavier, I will never be able to lighten the load.
One day I was called down to the office at school and I found several of my friends sitting at the same table and I joined them. A few minutes went by and we were obviously unsure to why we were there. We kept coming up with reasons to why we would be there and none of our ideas came close to the actual reason. When the counselor walked in I watched as she prepared to deliver the news. I saw in her eyes that she did not want to speak the words but she did anyway. As the words fell out on the table I was in disbelief as I found out that my best friend had been killed. I looked around at my friends and took notice that it was actually happening. I did not want to, but as I watched the tears roll down the faces of my friends I began to cry all the same.
This moment made my burden weigh what felt like a ton more. It has stuck with me for a while and I know it will sit with me for the rest of my life. What I felt that day is what I hope no one else will ever feel, but I know that won’t happen. Death is a part of our journey, and when the time comes we like to let them leave with justice. Funerals are our way of doing this.
I have listened to eulogies that leave justice for the ones lost. This is only the beginning because after a while I can only remember the good memories. The memories that are worth carrying. They are what make the burden worth carrying. They also remind me that those are the only memories that I will have of these individuals.
Look back at those you have lost and remember them. Think of all the memories you have of them and notice that they are all happy memories. I think we do this on our own to make it easier to take for ourselves. An effort to lighten a load that we know we cannot. I am not sure what pushes each of us on every day but for me, it is the desire to make more memories. I do hope that you take this a positive way and go out into the world and continue to make memories with the ones you love.
I hope you consider yourself lucky because I believe that I am.