Ditching my friend

Discussion
Oct 30, 2013
by: mortiz
this is for poeple who dont have good friends.

It was 2010 October 31, Halloween me, Jose, Melanie, and anthony in Brooklyn, New York. We all left to a halloween party in the bronx at 161st Yankee Stadium, we went the R train to Atlantic Avenue then took the D train. One hour from 8:00 we got to the house of my best friend Richard and then had fun for 3 hours, at 11:00 we said bye and left the house, I said “lets ditch Melanie at 146st”. We got the 146st, I tell Melanie to get me a soda. She went to get the soda and when the bus came me, Jose, and Anthony went on the bus while melanie was getting the soda. she came out the store with a look on her face called the face of fears. Me and my friends got home and called her phone, she didn't pick up, I’m thinking that something happened to her but not anything bad.

The next morning i wake up and melanie’s parents are in the living room, I said “what's going on” ? my mom is looking at me bad. Melanie’s parents are crying and asking me where is melanie but I don't even know where she is. Than I tell them that we ditch her in 146st. They went to get 146st in the bronx and we couldn't find her, then 20 minutes later she calls my phone. “Melanie where are you! I’m at Yankee Stadium. WHAT! HOW DID YOU GET THERE! walking. Shes at Yankee Stadium” . We went to Yankee Stadium. There she was but something seemed fishy she still had the face of fears. Why? Anyways we all went back home to sleep because well we were looking for her for 7 hours.

the next morning i wake up with a phone from Melanie’s mother “moses do you know where melanie is? No why? Shes missing again. Yesterday I felt like people were watching us so im think that something kidnaped her. WHAT!” I went with Melanie's mother to 146st to see if she was there. She wouldn't there then we look up and shes tied to a walk. I can't believe what is going on we call the police and they got her down but we still don't know who put her there but good thing that she is alive. To this day we have no idea who wanted to kill her but we will find out on my next Ditching my Friend part 2

Comments

I can't tell if this is a

Submitted by Hannah Samowitz on Fri, 2013-11-15 13:01.

I can't tell if this is a real story or not. If you rewrite it, you should probably clarify whether or not this was a real experience, or a made up one.

ditching my friend

ctaveras's picture
Submitted by ctaveras on Wed, 2014-02-26 09:19.

I really like your memoir because it is very interesting and you added a lot of details.One interesting part was when you found your friend tied to a walk because its crazy how that happened!! those people must have been very bad .I would make it better by correcting your grammar.The lesson was to never leave a friend behind.That's about it your memoir was really good.

Interesting

Submitted by Maddydob on Fri, 2014-03-07 12:51.

This is very interesting! I'm not sure if it's a real story or a fake story. As you rewrite it I would explain if it's a true or false story!
Good luck!

Bad Friends

dlloyd's picture
Submitted by dlloyd on Mon, 2014-09-15 08:09.

Dear Moses:

I am very excited to read this memoir “ Ditching my friend” because its a lot of stuff going on in this world and they ditch they friend what if something happen. This memoir is very crazy because someone almost die what if she don’t have a phone.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “ She wouldn't there then we look up and shes tied to a walk.”I think you need to slow down and reread and make it realistic. Because we all know that somebody don’t go take her out her house but its a good story.

Another sentence that I seen “Melanie’s parents are crying and asking me where is Melanie but I don't even know where she is.”This stood out for me because it showed that her parents care about her and they looking hard.

Your memoir reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I did this to my friend last year because he was talking to much. He found his way back home that's why we did. But if he don’t know his way around we would have never did that. They didn't think it out because I would of never left a girl alone.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because this was a very good story. Your tells me about my self a little that’s why I want you to keep writing.

Dear MosesOrtiz I am

ctaveras's picture
Submitted by ctaveras on Wed, 2014-09-17 19:14.

Dear MosesOrtiz

I am mesmerized with your

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "she came out the store with a look on her face called the face of fears" I think this is horrible because you ditched her and she obliviously was really scared she didn't where to go and she lost you guys.

Another sentence that I was interested in was: " Melanie’s parents are crying and asking me where is melanie but I don't even know where she is." This stood out for me because now that you ditched her and now shes missing your gonna have to pay the consequences by knowing you ditched your friend and now shes missing

Your

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your story's are really interesting to read.