The Double Standard

Discussion
Apr 13, 2012
by: penkia

Something that has always been on my mind and probably everybody else’s is this concept of a double standard between men and women/boys and girls. I don’t think anybody learns about this; everyone just sort of has an idea of what the idea is. All they learn is what people call it. Some people I know have experienced the curse of the double standard. I know that some people actually thinks it makes sense because girls are supposed to act a certain way and “boys will be boys”. But other people (myself included) think that the double standard is completely ridiculous and makes no sense.

Many people know the double standard as glorifying men and making women look bad. They’re different principles for different people in the same situation. This doesn’t only apply to relationships; it applies to jobs, minorities, social class and many more things. Let’s say a boy in high school has had 5 sex partners. Nine times out of ten, he would be glorified by his male peers and females might find him to be attractive because of his experience. But if this person with 5 sex partners was a female, boys would try to get with her because she’s “easy”. Girls would look at her in pure disgust. Sometimes it’s as if this viewpoint comes naturally, but it had to derive from somewhere, doesn’t it?

While researching my topic, I came across an article called “Do Double Standards Exist?” (Q,Anne) and she pointed something very interesting out: “ I can only assume at some point we’ll get to a place where men and women are seen as equals in every way, even from a sexual standpoint. Or at least keep moving in the right direction. (And no, I don’t consider ‘the right direction’ changing our thinking so that sleeping with 1,000 women or men is okay. Or sanitary. Gross.)” Women have come a long way since back in the day from being able to wear pants and voting but we still aren’t viewed fully equal to men. Women can’t do what they please without being judged or looked at a certain way because we are still expected to “act like ladies” and sleeping around isn’t viewed as lady-like.

Another article I read was “7 Double Standards Women Face” (Iluyomade, Dapo). Something that the author said that interested me was: “The most controversial double standard is numbers. A man sleeping around with several women will get a pat on his back from his boys whereas a woman enjoying her single life is gossiped about endlessly by members of her gender. Even more amazing is the guy who sleeps with such a woman and labels her a hoe the next day while he acted in the same manner as she did.” This goes back to when I said a double standard is different principles for different people for the same situation. The author explained the same scenario for a man and a woman and the outcome was different. Men are mostly praised while women are degraded and belittled. Why? Because they’re women? I don’t see how it’s wrong for one set of people but accepted for the other.

Another article that I read was “Double Dating Standards....And How They All Even Out” (Jackson, Panama). This article shed light on some of the double standards that men have because people mostly just focus on the women. He said “While this may seem like a good type of stress to have, there’s a reason why every (yup. every) man reading this has either told a half-truth or a blatant lie about his sexual conquests at least once. “underperforming” guys are clowned just as harshly as overperforming women.” This article brought up a new idea that I never really thought about: men have double standard issues as well. Some may find it not as serious as the ones women deal with but it’s still an issue.

Another article I read, “Top 10 Double Standards Men Face” (Iluyomade, Dapo), focused more on the double standards that men deal with. One quote that I agreed with was: “Women who react to a man’s advances or who start conversations and innocently tease men are not viewed in the same light. In fact, most of the time, a woman would defend herself by saying that she was “simply being nice” to the guy next to her at the bar. Often, it is men who are viewed as having ulterior motives.” Usually men are viewed as the dogs, the ones who don’t really care for the emotional part of the relationship. They just want the physical part which isn’t always true. some men actually do care for the emotional part just as much as some women only care about the physical part. This made me realize that men are also victims of double standards as well, not just women.

In the last article I read, “Double Standard: Stereotypes That Won’t Go Away”, the writer said something that I never thought about but found it to be very accurate. She said: “Although the media want women to be pure, they also want them to be sexy. Advertisements, television shows and movies often only feature overly thin, impossibly beautiful women to promote their product or program.” Basically, society wants girls and women to have some type of sex appeal but we can’t be promiscuous the way guys are or we’ll get punished by it by being called bad names and being looked down upon.

After reading all these different article, I’ve come to the conclusion that the double standard was something that society has come up with. In movies and t.v shows, even in books, the cool/popular boy is almost always (and I say this with confidence) sexually active. On the other hand, the girl who is sexually active with multiple people is portrayed as a disgrace. I truly believe that this is something society has made up so we have something to live by. They have come up with rules and consequences so we can act a certain way. But I think it’s time that men and women are viewed equally in all aspects of life.

WORKS CITED:
Article:
Q, Anne. “Do Double Standards Still Exist?” Average, But Not . . . February 16, 2010. April 4, 2012
http://www.averagebutnot.com/2010/02/16/do-double-standards-still-exist/
I can only assume at some point we’ll get to a place where men and women are seen as equals in every way, even from a sexual standpoint. Or at least keep moving in the right direction. (And no, I don’t consider ‘the right direction’ changing our thinking so that sleeping with 1,000 women or men is okay. Or sanitary. Gross.)
“Nothing like things were when my Baby Boomer parents were growing up, when women had to at least pretend to be a virgin until they were married, but there do seem to be slightly different sexual ‘rules’ for men and women.”

Article:
Jackson, Panama. “Double Dating Standards...And How They All Even Out” Very Smart Brothas. April 27, 2010. April 13, 2012
http://verysmartbrothas.com/dating-double-standards-and-how-they-all-eve...
“ While this may seem like a good type of stress to have, there’s a reason why every (yup. every) man reading this has either told a half-truth or a blatant lie about his sexual conquests at least once. “underperforming” guys are clowned just as harshly as overperforming women.”

Article:
Iluyomade, Dapo. “7 Double Standards Women Face” DRDAPO February 16, 2010. April 13, 2012
http://drdapo.com/venusandmars/7-double-standards-women-face/
“The most controversial double standard is numbers. A man sleeping around with several women will get a pat on his back from his boys whereas a woman enjoying her single life is gossiped about endlessly by members of her gender. Even more amazing is the guy who sleeps with such a woman and labels her a hoe the next day while he acted in the same manner as she did.”

Article:
Iluyomade, Dapo. “Top 10 Double Standards Men Face” DRDAPO February 16, 2010. April 13, 2012 http://drdapo.com/venusandmars/top-10-double-standards-men-face/
“Women who react to a man’s advances or who start conversations and innocently tease men are not viewed in the same light. In fact, most of the time, a woman would defend herself by saying that she was “simply being nice” to the guy next to her at the bar. Often, it is men who are viewed as having ulterior motives.”

Article:
Angel, Arielle. “Double Standard: Stereotypes That Won’t Go Away” April a3, 2012 http://www.jou.ufl.edu/sji/1999/opinion_03.htm
“A high school student who has already slept with 10 people enters a new school. What people will say about this person's sexual experiences depends on one factor: gender.”
“This player vs. slut philosophy is familiar to most students, and although no one girl deserves to be treated cheaply, the media repeatedly emits messages that this dangerous double standard is correct and should not be challenged.”
“Although the media want women to be pure, they also want them to be sexy. Advertisements, television shows and movies often only feature overly thin, impossibly beautiful women to promote their product or program.”

Comments

Double Standard

Submitted by John Kearns on Sun, 2012-04-15 15:17.

Penkia,
I thought your article was very interesting and well written. I thought the section about how girls sleeping around would be called hoes and guys that sleep around are glorified was one of the best parts. It's weird to hear guys talk about all the people they hook up with and then hear them call all those girls hoes and stuff. Like you said, they are doing the exact same thing as the girls but most guys get congratulated on it. I also thought it was cool how you talked about double standards that go against men as well. While I agree that they definitely aren't as serious, I still think that they are important. Thanks for your post, I look forward to another one soon!

John

Double Standard

Submitted by John Kearns on Sun, 2012-04-15 15:17.

Penkia,
I thought your article was very interesting and well written. I thought the section about how girls sleeping around would be called hoes and guys that sleep around are glorified was one of the best parts. It's weird to hear guys talk about all the people they hook up with and then hear them call all those girls hoes and stuff. Like you said, they are doing the exact same thing as the girls but most guys get congratulated on it. I also thought it was cool how you talked about double standards that go against men as well. While I agree that they definitely aren't as serious, I still think that they are important. Thanks for your post, I look forward to another one soon!

John

i am very interested with

Submitted by jazminc on Wed, 2012-04-25 11:27.

i am very interested with your article about the double standard and the way its betrayed thoughout tv movies and such.
A statement that you stated in your article that stood out to me was "A boy in high school has had 5 sex partners. Nine times out of ten, he would be glorified by his male peers and females might find him to be attractive because of his experience. But if this person with 5 sex partners was a female, boys would try to get with her because she’s “easy”. Girls would look at her in pure disgust." This is very true i see this everyday thought highschool and younger it should matter what the sex of a person is to change the opinion to command or look down upon if its wrong its wrong period.
Another statement that caught my attention was “Although the media want women to be pure, they also want them to be sexy. Advertisements, television shows and movies often only feature overly thin, impossibly beautiful women to promote their product or program.” Basically, society wants girls and women to have some type of sex appeal." which goes back to the tv shows and moives promoting the double standard showing that they want there girls to be dainty and and show more of a house wife out look.I agree with this artcile of the double standards how things get looked over when the sex of a person is put into place.Thanks for yor writing i look foward to seeing what you write next.