My Version of "The Raven"

Discussion
Apr 21, 2015
by: ateoxon

One time in a dark night, when I was depressed and alone,
I was reading many old novels that are forgotten,
While I was agreeing, about to sleep I heard a knocking on my door.
I thought it was a visitor so I asked, "Who Is it??"
"How are you gonna knock on my door and not say anything??"
I clearly remember that it was a cold and gloomy December,
Pieces of ashes from the fire fall onto the floor,
I wish it’s the next day, I want to get out of this sadness
The books that I’m reading decreases the pain, I have for the late Lenore
For the unique and the most beautiful girl named Lenore
Nameless here forevermore
Then the purple curtain starts rustling
Scared me - made me feel fear more than I have ever had
Now, my heart still pounding, I stood up repeating
“Is someone there knocking on my door? -
It's so late for someone to be knocking on my door
This is it and nothing more.
My braveness got stronger, my fear was non existent
“Bro” I said, “Ma’am truly your forgiveness I implore”
I was napping, and peacefully you came rapping,
and so faintly you came tapping on my door,
“I’m pretty sure I heard you knocking” I open the door widely
But it was dark and nothing more.
Into the darkness, I was wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no normal person ever would.
But the silence never changed, and stillness in the darkness
The only thing I said very quietly was, “Lenore?”
This is what I was whispered, and an echo came back saying, “Lenore!”-
Merely this and nothing more.

My version of “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe

Comments

Bro ...

jforbes's picture
Submitted by jforbes on Sun, 2015-04-26 20:09.

Some nice slang in your remix ... wonder of you could switch a few more words -- like "merely"? You clearly understand these stanzas!

Easy to understand

Submitted by athongkham on Sun, 2015-04-26 22:21.

I really liked how you changed they words around to something a lot more understanding and easy. I remember having to reread the stanzas like 7 times just to understand it and now reading yours it so clear on the idea going on. I like how you used "bro" because who uses sir now when opening the door to your household. You did a great job but i think you should separate for each stanza to make it more easy for people to search for the stanzas.

dun dun dunnnn

Submitted by elieu on Mon, 2015-04-27 00:56.

I like how you code switched the words. you use the slang words that have been used today which was pretty cool. this poem is way more easier to understand than the original one. thanks for that.

It was nice to read your

cpollar's picture
Submitted by cpollar on Mon, 2015-04-27 18:22.

It was nice to read your version and how you interpret the poem. You made this poem more easier to understand. I can see how you comprehended the poem through your point of voice.

Well translated