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MY POEM FOR A SPECIAL GIRL

Discussion
Dec 3, 2009
by: dsermon

  IS THIS POEM GOOD ENOUGH TO GIVE TO A GIRL?

 

YOU SHINE LIKE THE STARS DEEP IN THE SKY

YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT OTHER GUY

STICK WITH ME AND I WILL SET YOU FREE

LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY YOUR EYES SHINE

BRIGHTER THAN ANYTHING I HAVE SEEN

YOU'RE EVERYTHING I NEED

AS TIME PASSES SO DOES OUR LAUGHTER

WE BELONG TOGETHER HAPPILY EVER

                           AFTER

Comments

Aww,This is a cute

Submitted by mwilliams on Thu, 2009-12-03 14:45.

Aww,This is a cute poem,because you made a good point ! Its a okay poem to give a girl. . . But it depends on how she reads it .

I agree, the girl might take

Submitted by JocelinG on Sat, 2010-05-15 16:49.

I agree, the girl might take the poem the wrong way.

wats sup man i really like 

Submitted by OdenEBCHS on Wed, 2009-12-09 12:10.

wats sup man i really like  this poem cuz i to have a special women and she too makes me wanna rite her love letters and poems cause thats how special she is she deserves things like that to make her smile but i wanted to comment you because i used your poem to make her smile once more and im thankful for that..

I think that your poem is

Submitted by kkennedy on Wed, 2009-12-09 22:33.

I think that your poem is really sweet and it's really good to give to a girl. I think that if you like a girl you should write it and give it to them I think they'd like it. I never knew you wrote such good poetry but people can surprise you. Bye Dorian lol

This poem is so

Submitted by ELashley on Wed, 2009-12-09 23:26.

This poem is so adorable! But my dear it doesn't matter how good a poem is, what really matters is who you give it to, how they react, and mostly how you feel towards that special person. As long as you understand what the poem is about and you can interpret the meaning behind it, you can do it.

Good luck :D

Dear DORIAN I really like

Submitted by OdenEBCHS on Thu, 2009-12-10 12:15.

Dear DORIAN

I really like this poem because i to also have a special women and she too makes me wanna write her love letters and poems. Your Poem, "For a Special Girl was well thought," because what you wrote made me know what i wanted to tell her so she could smile and laugh once more.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me was wen you said YOUR EVERYTHING I WILL EVER NEED AS TIME PASSE SO DOES OUR Laughter WE BELONG TOGETHER HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

" I think this poem is very touching especially to someone who loves to write or read poems. I also believe that who ever gets a poem like this must really deserve it.

Another sentence that I actually thought was funny and i thought was really similar to what i say in my poems sometimes was this sentence you DON'T DESERVE THAT OTHER GUY STICK WITH ME I WILL SET YOU FREE LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY that sentence to me stood out cause if you wanna win a girls heart sometimes things like that it what they wanna here that they deserve better especially when they know they do.

Its even more funnier because Your poem reminds me of something that happened to me. One time its how i met the girl of my dreams i knew her for bout 2 yrs now but when i first met her she was with another, i know tell me bout it but its okay cause with poems like this i actually won her heart and now we been together for 3 yrs now with a little girl on the way.

Thanks for your work on this. I look forward to seeing what you create next, because i really do need some more poems to write to some ladies that i believe deserve it i will also like to see some of your work again so i can get some thoughts for my next poem.

That good and I will write

Submitted by dsermon on Thu, 2009-12-10 13:09.

That good and I will write more poems.What are your poem like?What are they about?

Dude.... I don't know about

Submitted by the.chef on Fri, 2009-12-11 13:00.

Dude.... I don't know about giving her this poem, she might appreciate the effort, but the actual poem could use some work, but good luck buddy, I hope it works out

wat would u change in the

Submitted by dsermon on Fri, 2009-12-18 01:49.

wat would u change in the poem or add

It's very cliche, and

Submitted by the.chef on Tue, 2010-01-12 13:20.

It's very cliche, and writing meaningful poems that rhyme is a challenge because the words often don't fit pefectly into both the rhyming scheme and the overall meaning of the poem.

not all poem need to rhyme

Submitted by dsermon on Fri, 2010-05-07 09:35.

not all poem need to rhyme and wat do u mean it does not fit

I said poems don't have to

Submitted by the.chef on Thu, 2010-05-13 15:11.

I said poems don't have to rhyme, and I said rhymng is hard because sometimes you use words that you wouldn't use anyways because they rhyme.

 Awww!! Dat wAS sOO sweEt I

Submitted by nyzhe on Thu, 2010-05-13 16:26.
 Awww!! Dat wAS sOO sweEt I thiink Yu shOuld giV It tO her !

 

 

I also think that its a

Submitted by JocelinG on Sat, 2010-05-15 16:59.

I also think that its a sweet poem but you should probably put it in paragraph form.

i like it alot its really

Submitted by angiee on Thu, 2010-05-13 20:55.

i like it alot its really nice, you really spoke from the heart (:

Its romantic but a little

Submitted by JocelinG on Sat, 2010-05-15 16:48.

Its romantic but a little too romantic unless the girl that you want to give the poem to is into that kinda stuff.

Thanx.It is a great poem but

Submitted by dsermon on Wed, 2010-05-19 10:50.

Thanx.It is a great poem but I don't know how to say it to her.What tone do i use?

I like the poem and all but I

Submitted by C. W. Peel on Fri, 2011-10-21 07:20.

I like the poem and all but I think my poem is better. Here, I will show it to you.
 
I ask for god a minute he gave me a day
I ask god for a flower he gave me a bouquet
I ask for true love he gave me that to
I ask god for a golden angel he gave me you
 You changed my world with a blink of an eye
That is something that I can not deny
You put my soul from worst to best
That is why I treasure you my dearest
You just don't know what you have done for me
You even pushed me to the best that I can be
You really are an angel sent from above
 When I'm with you I will not cry even a single a tear
And your touch have chased away all of my fear
You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile
It is even better every time you smile
 t so magical those things you've made
To bring back my faith that almost fades
Now my life is a dream come true
It all began when I talked to  you
 Now I have found what I am looking for
It's you and you only and nothing more
Co'z you have given me this feeling of contentment
In my life something I've never felt
 I wish I could talk 'til the end of day
But now I'm running out of things to say
So I'll end by the line you already know
"I like you" more than what I could show

This is a very nice poem.

Submitted by Tanishaa on Wed, 2010-05-19 16:45.

This is a very nice poem.

thanx

Submitted by dsermon on Mon, 2010-09-13 14:51.

thanx

              

Submitted by hchen on Thu, 2010-09-16 09:06.

               I am learning more about love right now,and in particular what I'm wondering about is :''What  type of the poem is this?''I was researching this question online,and this poem caught my attention because it was pretty amazing.

 So it a love poem for

Submitted by dsermon on Fri, 2010-09-17 14:58.

 So it a love poem for when i find that special girl i give it to her.Do u write poems?

 I really liked your poem "

Submitted by ctai on Mon, 2010-09-20 15:38.

 I really liked your poem " My poem for a special girl " because it really shows how much you really care about this girl and that you will devote anything for her. It seems like you really like this girl and that this girl means a lot to you and that you would just do anything to see her face and it seems like she is really special to you. 

One sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is: "     YOU SHINE LIKE THE STARS

    DEEP IN THE SKY YOU

    DON'T DESERVE THAT

    OTHER GUY STICK WITH ME

    I WILL SET YOU FREE LIKE A

    PRETTY BUTTERFLY " I think this is cute because I am glad to see when someone says that a girl or a guy shines their life like a star. That means that that guy/ girl makes them really happy no matter what and it makes me want to smile as well. Also like you said that you dont deserve that and you should be with me, that only means that you want the best for her.

Another sentence that I enjoyed was: " YOUR

    EYES SHINE BRIGHTER THAN

    ANYTHING I HAVE SEEN

    YOU'RE EVERYTHING I

    NEED AS TIME PASSES

    SO DOES OUR LAUGHTER

    WE BELONG TOGETHER

    HAPPILY EVER AFTER. " This stood out for me because when you said your eyes shine brighter than anything that must mean that girl has some beautiful eyes. Also when you said we belong together, that made me laugh because its really cute. Never give up and always keep on going.

Your poem reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I remembered a girl that I liked a lot and I got together with that girl and she meant everything in the world to me. Whenever I looked into her eyes, it was just some feeling I never felt before. It was something really different and I really loved this girl until she broke up with me because I told her how I felt about a guy bear hugging her. I didnt even know what I did wrong, I was just being honest and stuff. 

Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because maybe you got with this girl already and you want to write about the feelings you feel upon when your with her and everything. I want to see you write more poems like these to express how you feel deep down inside. 

 

thanx can i ask you wat that

Submitted by dsermon on Thu, 2010-09-23 09:26.

thanx can i ask you wat that girls name was?

should of said

Submitted by Keyz on Tue, 2012-01-03 22:22.

" You deserve better than that guy Walk with me and let true love set you free " And I would switch up the "AS TIME PASSES SO DOES OUR LAUGHTER" It makes it sound as if the first few years together were great then the laughter passed as in no more smiles! Great Poem a few changes and she will luv it :) P.S. I would lengthen it a little.

:)

Submitted by piequa on Fri, 2012-02-17 10:48.

Dear Dorian:

I really enjoyed your poem, “My Poem For A Special Girl.” I really liked it, and it made me smile. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “You shine like the stars deep in the sky.” This sentence stood out to med because it was sweet simile, and I can picture a bright star shinning.

Another sentence that I liked was: “ You’re everything I need.” I liked this sentence because it really stands out in the poem. I think that if you were to give this poem to a girl, she would really appreciate it. I have always wanted a boy to write a poem for me.

Your poem reminds me of a boy who wrote me a four page letter. It was the sweetest thing that I have ever read, and it made me cry. Getting a special letter or note from someone can really capture your heart.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because this poem was nice. It really caught my attention, and I just had to share this poem with my friend.

Dear Dsermon:: I enjoyed

Submitted by wadseq on Wed, 2012-02-29 17:52.

Dear Dsermon::

I enjoyed your poem “MY POEM FOR A SPECIAL GIRL,” because it shows that you really care for this special girl. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “STICK WITH ME AND I WILL SET YOU FREE” because so many teenage girls struggle to be set free by their one true love. I think this a wonderful way to express yourself to a young lady that you have feelings for.

Another sentence that I enjoyed, was “LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY YOUR EYES SHINE.” This stood out to me, because it’s amazing that you feel so strongly about her. Girls love to hear that they are pretty.

Your poem reminds me of my first real boyfriend. He wrote me this beautiful poem about my appearance and my personality. He told me how much he enjoyed my company. He told me my flaw and he wanted to be there to fix them. It was so sweet because we’re still together now.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because You capture the realness of your heart and you know how to express your feelings properly . Keep writing! Tell her how you feel and let me know how it goes!!

Dear Dsermon:: I enjoyed your

Submitted by rodjus on Sun, 2012-03-04 22:08.

Dear Dsermon::
I enjoyed your poem “MY POEM FOR A SPECIAL GIRL,” because it shows that you have a girl that means alot to you. Not a lot og people have the heart to express their feelings. This shows you are caring.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is “STICK WITH ME AND I WILL SET YOU FREE” because so many young girls feel as they are trapped. Maybe they just need that one person to share their life with. You may be that person for that girl.
Another sentence that I enjoyed, was “LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY YOUR EYES SHINE.” This stood out to me, because you may have an interest in nature. Maybe you and that girl would have a picnik and you can read your poems all day.
Your poem reminds me of my girlfriend. i love her so much and i don’t think anyone can replace her. But i am also young but i know i want to spend my life with her.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you don’t hide your emotions. I like that you love to express your real feelings. Me and you have things in common.

i really like this.

Submitted by rolail on Mon, 2013-04-29 16:39.

Dear, dsermon
I like your poem "MY POEM FOR A SPECIAL GIRL ," because it was really adorable. any girl that you give that to will like it. I hope ope the special girl you're giving it to likes it. I love how throughout the whole poem you're complimenting her, just spending time to make this poem is adorable. good luck.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next,