The Onion's Tears: Of Laughter, or Cries?
I'm not sure if anyone is familiar with the Onion, a newspapre famous for reporting satirical news. Not like "Bat Boy Strikes Again! Police Chase over Four States!" kind of news. More like "Devils Advocate, Really Just Being A Douche" kind of news. Is it a pinnacle of satire? A beacon for all intellectuals to grab a few chuckles when the boss is away? Or is it mearly a mere facade to hide shoddy journalism and poor writing? You decide.
Example one: "Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres." The title itself is a sham. There is no such word, let alone storm, as "Hurriphoonado," which I can only assume to be a combination of a hurricane, typhoon, and tornado. Not only that, destruction across both the eastern and western hemishperes? The authors do realize that a hemisphere is HALF of the world? And if you have one half, plus the other half, you get one WHOLE earth? This says the entire earth has been destroyed! Talk about hyperbole.
"The scope of Hurriphoonado Claire was unprecedented," said Mark Mancuso, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service, who classified the hybrid storm as an F4 tornado, Category 5 hurricane, and Level 7 redemptive act of God. "By the time it surged through the Middle East in late August, there was little anyone could do but pray."
Here we have an actual quote from claimed expert. Citing credible resources, right? Legitimate action, right? WRONG! I looked up Mr. Mark Mancuso, and discovered a very important secret: There is no such thing as a level 7 redemptive act of God. Who ever this Mancuso character is, he needs to get his facts straight. A theme, I'm sure, runs throughout this entire article.
Other titles just add to my argument: "Iran's Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever" where
In a globally televised address before the United Nations, Ahmadinejad unveiled the 500-foot-tall steel coaster, which he called a "very real threat" to anyone not interested in having a blast.
The list goes on. The Onion should come clean! No more of these erroneous claims to be "America's Finest News Source." We need a source for a new finer America!
