The Raven

Discussion
Apr 20, 2015
by: cpollar

One gloomy midnight, while I sat in sorrow
With ancient and skeptical numbers of books
While I was asleep, I began to hear a tap
A soft tap, on my door
"Just a Jehovah's Witness" I muttered, "knocking on my door
It could only be them."

Bruh, I remember it was a cold December
And dying fire created a shadow
Dude, can it be tomorrow already? I'm trying to be patient
These books create sorrow, for my lost Bae Lenore
For the unique baddie the angels named Lenore
The name I'll never forget

My certain beefing with the wind
Gave me a chills, it scared me like never before
My heart racing I continue to say
"It's just a Jehovah's Witness at my door
A late Jehovah's Witness at my door
Just that and nothing else."

My knees grew stronger and I couldn't stand it anymore
'Mr' I said 'Ms', I'M SORRY
I was asleep and you made this noise
Then you knocked on my door
Once I was positive that I heard you, I open the door and...
Nothing, nothing at the door but darkness

Staring in the darkness, my curiosity and fear grew
Dreaming the strange and impossible
Still silent, the darkness gave me no answer
Only word whispered was 'Lenore'
Then an echo 'Lenore'
Only this and nothing else.

Going back inside my house, my body began to ache
once again I heard the tapping, but louder
‘Duh’ I said ‘ Duh it's coming from the window
let me see wassup, my mind wrapped this mystery
my heart stopped for the moment and this mystery
It's just the wind and nothing else.

Comments

Ha!

jforbes's picture
Submitted by jforbes on Thu, 2015-04-23 08:43.

Love the language and context updates! Yes, Lenore was the narrator's Bae. What do you think the slang for "Bae" wll be in 10 years? I agree that in a modern context it could be a Jehovah's Witness knocking on the door ... or a high school student selling newspaper subscriptions ... Nice updating of this old classic.

Funny!

Submitted by qtat on Sun, 2015-04-26 00:01.

This version of The Raven was really funny. I really liked the terms you used in this version. You made this into the modern world verified. I really enjoyed the laughs that this poem have created for me.

Great work Lena

Submitted by ckyne on Sun, 2015-04-26 11:46.

I really like how you really rephrase the poem. As i was reading your poem it sounded like a 21st century conversation. I really like how you went all out. I'm really proud of you.GREAT JOB CLASSMATE!

Queen of Imagery !!!

Submitted by jpho on Sun, 2015-04-26 21:12.

Wow! I enjoy reading this with the work of your imagery for your protagonist to roam around the room and be truly clueless of what is going on. It is beautiful how you still kept it as the same story plot and loss of Lenore but just use of words and tone that changed which is perfect!! much love

Great code switching!

Submitted by esaefong on Sun, 2015-04-26 21:57.

I like that you use many of the words that we hear now like "bae" and "bruh." I also thought it was funny that you used Jehovah's witness to replace the raven. With all the code switching you still kept the overall feel of the story and made it understandable for me.

Love it !

Submitted by aavila on Mon, 2015-04-27 17:06.

Wow I loved how you code switched and used a lot of modern day words it was really funny. I really enjoy seeing the modern day vocabulary. I also enjoyed how you put a lot of thought into your poem.

You've done a good job. I

Submitted by mrhymes on Mon, 2015-04-27 22:39.

You've done a good job. I remember sitting in the computer lab, you were stressing about how you're gonna do this and that scholarship. I see you've pulled it off. The slang though. Such a teenager. The way you used "bruh" chuckled my heart. Cos you actually say this along with an eye roll after every sentence and word. Anyways good job boo.

This poem had me laughing.

Submitted by esehric on Mon, 2015-04-27 22:46.

This poem had me laughing. Jehovah's witness that is a good one! I loved how you used modern slang and I saw a lot of great imagery, I feel like the imagery painted a certain picture of the poem in my head! Great Job!