The Raven of Modern Time

Discussion
Apr 19, 2015
by: joly
The Hidden Stories

At midnight, I’m weak and tired
Multiple books of my lost Lenore
I was dozing off, and someone comes knocking on the door
Someone was making a beat off my door
“Its a visitor,” I said, “Keeps knocking on my door,”

I remember a boring December
Every fire, the shadows always makes a ghost
Hoping tomorrow, I could borrow
from the books of sadness- I lost Lenore
She was outstanding and unique, she was an angel
Gone forever

The sounds of the purple curtains
shivered me- with fears unknown;
now, my heart racing, I kept saying
“There’s a visitor coming to my door-
it’s dark to come to my door;-”

My soul is strong, I ain’t scared anymore
“Hey, my bad for letting you wait;
I was asleep, then you knock on my door
surprise you visit, I heard you”- open the door;-
It’s dark

Looking in the dark, I was scared
Thinking of the unthinkable
No more silence, it was still dark
I only said “Lenore”
Nothing more than an echo.

Back to the room, my insides in burning,
Again, I heard the tapping even louder
“For sure- something’s at the window”
Let’s see, comes in, this creature
My heart froze and this creature;-
It’s only the wind.

Comments

"Making a beat off my door"

jforbes's picture
Submitted by jforbes on Sun, 2015-04-26 18:43.

Nice image!! And funny. You have some great remixed lines in here - I wonder of you could add a little more slang to Oakland-ify it? You definitely understood these stanzas!

Okay Okay

Submitted by jpho on Sun, 2015-04-26 21:27.

I actually can hear the english that we use nowadays especially through the teachings from Ms. Forbes !! Muahahaa! But yes I can hear the accent of a professional poet writer that are alive nowadays in this piece. You got this !! Much Love.

:D AWESOME !

Submitted by aavila on Mon, 2015-04-27 17:18.

Your literary devices are on point ! I like how you used ain't something Edgar would never use !> Great work the images in my head were very clear and nice.