iRomanticism Text Message

Discussion
Apr 20, 2015
by: jpho

In a beautiful night in the dubs, I drove my car throughout the night, lonely and desperate
He was awaiting for a text I assume, but then distracted being lost in the music
I was being very cautious on the dark broken roads yet very tempted
My phone kept blowing up with the same tone buzzing upon my seat
Not believing if it was him or not since he haven’t replied to me all day
Was it my partner texting me, oh shoot car !
That was a close one, I will keep my eyes on this damn road

I remembered that it was a school night at the moment driving though
Feeling so desperate onto driving upon his driveway even if he doesn’t want me to come
Truly anxious of checking my phone at the time of night - I couldn’t resist anymore
The gut in my booty is too tight for me to not check the phone for the angel’s name
The iphone read “My Angel calling”

The droop of my heart sank deeper than titanic rolling on the streets
Pushing me - Exciting me with lust and joy that’s never been felt before
My heart skipped faster than my 45 mph rolling car
Entering the gates of the house frightened, wondering if I was lied to or not
His mother wouldn’t allow any friends including me pass the dawn of the sunset
I told myself through patience now or never

I couldn’t have anymore hesitation since I am climbing up the stairs
I was approaching the door until he opened it before I got to touch it
But the fact is that I was stuck in the moment smiling through his eyes
He would touch me sliding through my hands, urging to drag me in
I snapped from the dragons fighting in my heart, “Hey honey” - walking in
a warm comfortable hug, and many more.

Entering the house, I stood there holding his hands to look around, in affection
realizing if this boy who I’m holding hands with will be another heartbreak
It felt so sudden yet so right in the moment realizing how long we’ve been together
He would take me to his bed sitting down as I stand between his legs, “Honey”
He whispers to me looking through my brown hazel eyes, “Honey”
A touch through my hips and many more.

As I place myself onto the bed near his pillows, my heart pumps as he comes closer
Then all of a sudden there goes the ring of my phone buzzing on the table
“It’s not you” I said softly, “I think it’s my mother texting me honey?”
I eventually, urge myself to find out why’s my phone is buzzing in a constant
Although I am still in the moment being dazed in his arms, the buzz is still constant
He kept me near him and many more.

He pressed upon his cheeks against mines, upon my own lips his rushing
Then his mother stood near the door, startling us telling me my mom is on the phone

Comments

Oh wow

jforbes's picture
Submitted by jforbes on Sun, 2015-04-26 20:20.

This is so good. So updated for 2015! Yes to creativity and originality, JPho!

Imagination blowing up!!

Submitted by athongkham on Sun, 2015-04-26 21:27.

This is so good, like a story is playing through my head. I can imagine all the things going on in here you did a good job at modernizing this poem. I like the 1st stanza the most because i know that feeling when you can't concentrate because your phone is going off a lot and you are tempted to just use it.

Your choice of words

cpollar's picture
Submitted by cpollar on Mon, 2015-04-27 18:08.

I just fell in love with your wording. I love how you put it in the 21st century language. You connected it to a youth in the "Dubs", #DubNation. I love how you made this you moreso personal for you. It fits your personality .

JOJO WOW !

Submitted by aavila on Mon, 2015-04-27 18:13.

WOW ! I love how you used the little towns within oakland that seperate us ! I also loved how you used the word gay and felt so comfortable it shows how us in modern day have come a long way. Compared to the times when the raven was written !.

As your best friend this is

Submitted by esehric on Mon, 2015-04-27 18:14.

As your best friend this is just so you! I truly enjoyed reading this! I can see the emotion you put in this poem especially about a partner and the love and emotions you share between each other! I also enjoyed the modern day slang! Great work!