The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent
A long time ago, I had told some of the people that had replied to my post about teenage sex http://youthvoices.net/discussion/why-are-teens-being-sexually-active-if... , that I was going to put up a new one. I think it has been more than a year so I think I should do that now. Well for starters I would like to say that I’m simply stating my opinion and personal beliefs about sex in teenage relationships. What is being said is coming from a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent, but someone who can relate to most of you.
I am turning 18 in less than a month and that old post of mine was written when I was about 14. Four years have passed and I understand much better, not necessarily agree, with why teenagers decide to do certain things.
I will try to lay it out as simple and as short as possible. (I will probably fail at this.)
I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child. These children are sometimes as young as 11 or 12. At that age I was busy playing “school” with my cousin, playing doctor, or playing with my Barbies. Having a boyfriend did not cross my mind much less a sexual encounter. I feel children are trying to grow up really fast and are not appreciating or living to the fullest the beautiful stage they are currently in. Many times I wish I were a child again.
Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children. They should try to as best as they can drill into their children what their beliefs are. And if a child does not agree and decides to be a rebel, at least they should talk to them about ways to do things correctly (protection etc).
If you are 14 or above, I highly encourage you to think over any possible consequences a decision you’re about to make may have. Every single decision we make has consequences that follow, some good and some bad. In debating whether to have sex with someone at such a young age, the bad ones may weigh more than the good ones. Remember that it’s not only your body you’re letting someone have, but your mind and emotions as well (as corny and cheesy as that may sound). It’s very hard to separate those three things. Not only would your body receive the impact afterwards but your feelings and thoughts as well. And think about it this way, your body is your temple, your treasure; would you share your treasure with anyone?
If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on). Pregnancy is not the only consequence, there are diseases as well. There is a possibility that the person you decided to have sex is not a good person either. How many times have we heard stories about teens talking about other ones regarding sex? Is someone that claims that loves us going to talk about us?
And one night stands? Really? Give me a break! I don’t understand how people allow themselves to be someone another person has had casual sex with. Remember, if someone ever talks about you that way or has the audacity to say it to your face, they never cared about you. Because a person that claims that loves us and cares about us would never refer to us that way. If you've had casual, impersonal sex with someone, you've never had the slightest care or feelings for that person. They were just a person you were able to relieve your “heat”.
Why won't I have sex before marriage?
Well that is my goal. I would like to because I know that the man I marry is someone that will be there the next day. He is someone that cares and loves me. He is someone that I would make love to because there’s a huge difference between having sex and making love. He is someone that would never talk behind my back. And if anything happens, we will be in it together and support one another.
To summarize this simple overview of my ideas”
1)GREATLY GREATLY think about the actions you're about to make and what impacts they may have one you and your significant other.
2)If you decide to go ahead or “get caught in the moment” at least be smart and protect yourself.
3)Respect yourself and others will respect you
4)Never let pressure be what instigates you to go ahead and do something. It should never be against your will (that is rape!)
5)Make sure it is with someone you are 99.9999999% sure that they care about you
6) Please don’t be as young as 14 -.-
7) If you do, do something with your partner and later on find yourself having problems that you see have no solution to, don’t be afraid to leave them. Sure you may have done something with them, but one must have dignity and self respect and know not to let oneself be walked over.
BE SAFE, BE SMART!