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When do and why don't we appreciate our parents.

Discussion
Apr 15, 2012
by: zhajen
this little piggy went to market by squeak! a Youth Voices photographer, Flickr.

Something that I been interested in learning about more has been when do we teens or children begin to actually appreciate our parents. This has caught my attention not only because I have heard about it, but because I feel like most kids my age forget to say “thank you” to the things our parents do for us. Many teens out there believe that they know everything to life and don’t actually need to listen to what their parents have to say to them. Most think that they ready to be on their own in their life and find their parents to be just a drag. This is where I think we are all wrong.

As I experienced my own life growing up, I have noticed that most teens my age or a few years older miss treat their parents. They forget to be respectful to them and actually understand what they ask from us. Parents in my opinion are people that we must value the most. They are the ones who help us grow up and know the difference between wrong and right. As we grow older and interact with other people we tend to put our parents aside and follow into other peoples steps.

Being that I didn't have much of information on my topic, I decided to do some research. I came across this one article: “When Kids Start Appreciating Parents.” This article gave a very decent idea of when do kids appreciate their parents. It’s stated that: “The age when the average child gains new respect and appreciation for his or her parents is not 21, but 22.” This is letting me know that some felt that when we grow older we begin to value our parents efforts to make us who we are now. I guess we are more mature than what we thought we were when we were 16 or 18. “Of the 5,000 20-somethings who responded, 70 percent admitted they’d thought they “knew it all” in their teens, and more than half said they now “miss having their parents look after them.” This one statistic proved that when we say we know everything in the world is an extremely error. Our parents have been in this world for almost a very long time, so why ignore them. They are the ones that will help us and we can’t prevent that from our lives.

As going a little bit further on my research, I have arrived to this one article: “Kids only appreciate their parents when they reach 22, research finds.” I reading this article it let me get a better understanding of when do we kids appreciate our parents and when does it actually happen. As we grow older, by the age of 15 or 16 we are talking about when I reach 18, I’m leaving my house. It a daily conversation we hear and that's when we figure out this appreciation term towards our parents. “When they start having to make their own decisions about finances, food, relationships and health, this is when they realise the extent of their mum and dad’s input to date [sic].” This is when we define the term appreciation towards our parents. Once we reach the age where we now have to stand on our own two feet and walk to the real world we value our parents. We always thought that we would never reach that day were we will tell our parents thanks for everything. Remember when you were younger and found it so annoying to hear your parents say: “One day you will appreciate what we do for you,” and we end up saying no in your head. Now look at where you are standing and in front of who and saying exactly the same words you would have never thought of telling them. It’s amazing, isn't?

Now that I was able to learn more of when do we teens appreciate our parents I decided to look on why don’t we appreciate them when we were once young. “It's truly hard to value parents when their demands and restraints keep getting in the way of all the freedom one wants at a more independent-minded age.” This quote came from an interesting article I found:”Why adolescents don’t appreciate their parents.” When we are younger, we tend to get scream at and told to do things. Once we hear this, we get mad and say things we shouldn’t say. It nature am guessing, but why is it that we have to go against what our parents tell us to do. If we did it the first time it won’t be the same the second time. They are hard on us because they don’t want us to suffer in the future, but like most teens we ignore it. Freedom has a limit, but when you are under your parents oders you must follow their rules.

Another article that I came across with that determines why we don’t appreciate them was: “Kids Don’t Appreciate Their Parents until the age of 22.” Friends are good to have, but we must have the right ones. Friends are supposed to help us appreciate our parents, but for some reason the wrong ones aren’t. “When kids are small, you are the center of the Universe, but once they hit those teen years, friends and peers become a more important influence.” Here is where we forget from where we came from and who our parents are. Once we have friends we tend to listen to them more and listen to their advice. I’m not trying to say having, listening and telling our friends is wrong, but why not tell our parents. Our parents have had a very decent experience, it better to learn from them. Since we ignore our parents, we came to this feeling that we don’t need to thank them just because they haven’t help us through our struggles. It isn’t their fault, but ours. We need to interact with them more and appreciate them if we do.

This study: “Kids appreciate parents at 22,” that I came across with talked about how we teens tend to find our parents a disturbance. "Teenagers are headstrong, emotional and independent, and at this point mum and dad become uncool, stifling and overprotective [sic].” I truly agree with this quote. If we were ever to ask our parents when did they become overprotective, they would probably answer you with, “ever since you were born.” The truly answer will be when you reach the age of a teenager. That when we find our parents irritating. We ignore that fact they are trying to help us to become a better person. Parents can become uncool, overprotective, etc. but they will always be there for us not matter what. The advice given and everything told to us is for our own good and one day we will end appreciating the things they have done and said to us.

After searching and getting a better understanding of when do and why don’t we teens appreciate our parents, I can say it all happens at the age when we are on our own. It could probably be at the age of 22 like most statics have said, but it all happens when we mature. Our parents are always going to be hard on us and make our lives hard like we say, but guys it’s for our own good. Like any other person in this world at the end of our journey to define appreciation towards our parents, we will end up appreciating our parents. They will always be the best gift we can get. From them we will pass down what we learned to our own kids. Parents aren’t like any other person in the world; they will always be with you no matter what happens. It’s never too late to appreciate what we have especially our own parents.

Works Cited

Belkin, Lisa. “When Kids Start Appreciating Parents.” The New York Times.
January 27, 2009. May 3, 2012
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/when-parents-stop-being-st...

Daily Mail Reporter. “ Kids only appreciate their parents when they reach 22, research finds.” Daily Mail . January 20, 2009. May 4, 2012
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1122227/Kids-appreciate-parent...

Pickhardt, Carl. “Why adolescents don’t appreciate their parents.” Psychology Today. April 20, 2010. May 4, 2012
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/20...

Sanders, Bethany. “Kids Don’t Appreciate Their Parents until the age of 22.” Parent Dish. January 21, 2009. April 9, 2012.
http://www.parentdish.com/2009/01/21/kids-dont-appreciate-their-parents-...

Unknown Publisher. “Kids appreciate parents at 22.” UPI. January 19, 2009.
April 9, 2012.
http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/01/19/Study_Kids_appreciate_parents_at_...

Comments

I agree!

Submitted by casdei on Tue, 2013-04-23 14:15.

Dear Jennifer:

I am surprised by your post "When do and why don’t we appreciate our parents" because I know a lot of teens are rude and mistreat their parents. It’s surprising to me that you are actually aware of that because there are many teens who are not.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: " I feel like most kids my age forget to say “thank you” to the things our parents do for us." I think this is true for many teens because we don’t really find it necessary to just thank our parents for all their hard work and dedication to us. Also, there are many things we do that make us look very appreciative to our parents.

Another sentence that I was surprised by was: "The age when the average child gains new respect and appreciation for his or her parents is not 21, but 22." This stood out for me because I think that only when teens mature and become independent they appreciate their parents because now they have to do what their parents have done for them all along.

I do fully agree with you that some teens think that they are grown enough to be on their own. One reason I say this is because we just don’t know what life really is like because we have always relied on our parents. Another reason I agree with you is because we think that we’re ready just because we feel more experienced than we were but the truth is we are still children.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you provided me with a lot of information and you gave made good points about your topic.