Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?

Submitted by piequa on Sun, 2012-03-25 18:56
the charred remains by Reid Bell a Youth Voices pool photographer on Flickr.

Something that I have been interested in learning more about has been how can someone who loves you so much, hurt you so bad?. I remember my bestfriend talking about it when her boyfriend hurt her, but we didn't speak of it much. Lately, the issue has caught my eye again. I know that may people feel that people can't help but to hurt the ones they . From what I have heard, no matter how hard you try the ones you love can get hurt. For example, I heard that even when you try not to hurt someone, they can still get hurt. Now that's just what I've heard, it may or may not be true.

One thing that I know for sure about hurting the ones you love is that it is not always done purposely. You can either get hurt with a lie or with the truth, but either way you'll get hurt. In my opinion it's not easy to not hurt the ones you love. No one wants to be hurt in life, but It is inevitable that people hurt the ones they love.

Being that I didn't have a lot of background information on hurting the ones you love, I chose to do some research on the topic. As I searched for blogs and news articles on Google, I came across this one website: Thecleanlife.hubpages. This article provided a lot of information and opinions on this topic. A quote that explains a lot is: "It seems really odd that the ones we love get hurt and may suffer with inner pain and then unfortunately some may suffer physical pain." This statement didn't really surprise me all that much because sometimes you never really understand how you can hurt someone with the slightest thing.

In another article I found on yahooanswers.com was this one statement that made me nod my head in agreement with the writer. It was: We hurt the ones we love the most because the ones we love the most hurt us. This is so true because if someone hurts us we would want you hurt them back, so that they may feel what we feel. Also we always take others for granted, and that's why they end up hurt.

All of this makes me think of a song I used to love, The one I gave my heart to, by Aaliyah. A quote from the song is: "How could the one I gave my heart to, break my heart so bad? How could the one who made me happy, make me feel so sad? Wont somebody tell me? So I can understand." This quote tells me, no one really knows the true reason of someone hurting another. There are multiple reasons for why people get hurt, but there isn't a main reason.

Comments

Love Suffers From Human Error

Submitted by turake on Sat, 2012-03-31 09:31.

Dear Quanasia:

I loved your post, “Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?” because I think that your topic should be addressed because it occurs frequently. It’s remarkable to know that we have the capability to hurt the people that we claim to love. We give our hearts to people because we trust and care about them. However, we end up hurting the same people when we become inconsiderate of their thoughts, ideas, and emotions. Many people forget that a relationship requires you to compromise. One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is : “No one wants to be hurt in life, but It is inevitable that people hurt the ones they love.” I think this is important because often when we make decisions, we forget to think about how it might affect the other person.

Another sentence that I found interesting was: “ This is so true because if someone hurts us we would want you hurt them back, so that they may feel what we feel.” This stood out for me because I think this something that many need to consider. A lot of people get hurt and think that the right thing to do is try and hurt the other person, but it is wrong. When someone says that they love another person, the love should never just magically disappear because of a small problem.

Your post reminds me of my friend, who is more like a sister to me. One time I had a conversation with her about a break-up that she had with her boyfriend, after being with him for 11 months. She told me that she regrets the relationship because all he did was hurt her, and she denied having any feelings towards him. I told her that it was wrong of her to say those things about her relationship because the good times that they endured overpowered the bad times. I know that he did not intentionally hurt her because he actually cared about her. The one thing that she never understood was that we are all human beings. We all make make mistakes, for there is such thing as human error.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your topic is something that many need to consider. I hope other young adults start to think about their own relationships and how their decisions, choices, and beliefs affect each other. I can not wait to see other people respond to your post.

Eye Opener

Submitted by vargen on Sat, 2012-03-31 21:05.

Dear Quanasia,
I enjoyed your post “Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?” because this is something that happens a lot and never brought up much. Now that I think of it, I’ve only thought about this a couple of times, but never really gave it much importance. One sentence that caught my attention was: “One thing that I know for sure about hurting the ones you love is that it is not always done purposely.” Every person learns from their mistakes and a human always makes mistakes. Nothing out there is “perfect” and no one should expect one to be perfect.

Another sentence that I observed was: “Also we always take others for granted, and that’s why they end up hurt.” In this life we don’t know what’s really right or wrong. We don’t give value or see value in anything. The simplest things are what we need to be happy with, but it’s not always like that. Our family usually always tend to get hurt for some reason. This happens because we don’t give them much value, appreciation, love and care.

This reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I was sitting with my cousin and we just spoke about boys and our family. We all know that family love and partner love are two different things. At times we actually put our “lover” before our family which can be bad. Family will always be there through thick and thin. We forget the pure love a family can give off and just push them away. This is how we hurt the ones we love the most without even realizing it.

Thanks for your writing. I loved it because sometimes people need an eye opener and this was definitely one. Stay writing and I’ll keep up with you. Remember to always be careful with the ones you love.

Sincerely,
Genesis

Love or Hurt?

Submitted by dodkir on Sun, 2012-04-01 06:51.

Dear Quanasia,

I found your post "Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?" to be quite interesting. Why do we hurt the ones we love the most is a great question to ask. I know I ask myself that. Most of time its not done purposely. We don't mean it(not all the time). But face it everybody get hurt by a friend or even your family. You never think that the ones you love will hurt you. Sometime family will hurt you faster than other. They would do this because they know about what gets you mad. So they will use that against just because they know that's your weak spot. That is why I don't trust anybody -- even the devil was an angel.

Dear Quanasia: I am

Submitted by casdei on Tue, 2013-04-16 14:51.

Dear Quanasia:
I am interested about your post "Why do we hurt the ones we love the most" because I have had that same question for a while now. When I saw your post I knew I had to read it to compare my ideas to yours.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "One thing that I know for sure about hurting the ones you love is that it is not always done purposely." I think this is true because I myself have hurt someone I have loved unintentionally. Sometimes we just don’t know what might hurt another person.
Another sentence that I was interested in was: "We hurt the ones we love the most because the ones we love the most hurt us." This stood out for me because I have heard a lot of people say the same thing when they talk about the people they hurt.
I don't really agree with you that the ones we love always hurt us. One reason I say this is because we might hurt someone who hasn't done anything to us and we accidentally hurt them.
Another reason disagree with you is that not everyone is the same and I just think that what people go through cause them to think certain ways and that sounds more like payback to me.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I think your post was very interesting. It was also something I would talk about with you.

Love

Submitted by telmck on Tue, 2013-05-07 13:00.

I’m proud that you wrote this post “Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?” because you have made some great points and questions about why do people hurt the people that they love. I also like your post because I see things like this that happen all the time and it tends to be sad.

One quote that stood out for me is “One thing that I know for sure about hurting the ones you love is that it is not always done purposely.” This is so true because sometime we as human beings do things without thinking. Another reason this is so true is because what we think is funny might not be funny to those around us and that could be the reason for us hurting the one that we love the most!

Another quote that I thought about was “In my opinion it's not easy to not hurt the ones you love.” I had to think about this because some people do try not to hurt the one’s that they do love, but it do happen at times. Also if you look at it there should be a lot of thought put into this quote because no human being is perfect and if any one say that they love you and would never hurt; then that would be somewhat true.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I thought you wrote a great post and I liked the fact that you know what it mean to hurt someone that you care about.

Speak the truth!

Submitted by suajaz on Tue, 2013-05-14 10:07.

Dear Quanasia,
I am enthusiastic about post, "Why do we hurt the ones we love the most?" because I always wondered why people hurt the people they love the most. I myself do this, but not on purpose.
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is "You can either get hurt with a lie or with the truth, but either way you'll get hurt. " I think this is agreeable because you can’t control how a person may feel. Even when you don’t intentionally mean to hurt the ones you love, they still end up getting hurt.
Another sentence that I agreed with was the quote "It seems really odd that the ones we love get hurt and may suffer with inner pain and then unfortunately some may suffer physical pain." This stood out for me because hurting the ones we love is out of our control sometimes. Even the littlest things can impact the person you love in a negative way.
I also agree with the quote “We hurt the ones we love the most because the ones we love the most hurt us.” One reason I say this is because some people want the person to feel the way they felt. Another reason I agree with you is that we may take the ones we love for granted even if we don’t realize it.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because this was a really interesting topic. I can relate to this topic because i’m always the ones I love without realizing I do, but I never really understood why I did the things I do.